I wanted to touch on the aspect of having a child after the loss. I really like, wallowed right after my sons death, dried all the funeral flowers, had a shrine all around his urn on the TV stand. After a couple of months a very close friend took the chance to confront me in a bery loving way , that it was time to pack some of the flowers and keepsakes and things, pack them up safely and put them away in a special place. By no means should I forget. But there's no way of starting to heal if I were going to relive it every single day morning to night. I was irate at hearing this at first of course. But my friend was right. I became pregnant about 5 months after my loss, and my significant other made it clear he didn't support keeping the pregnancy. We were drifting apart and although my doctor begged me to keep it, I terminated. It was only about another 4 months when I became pregnant again, and this time decided to absolutely carry to term . It was the best decision I have ever made. The youngest is such a gift. He will never replace the beautiful boy I lost, but it provides a place for all those unsung dreams, plans and emotion. It provides not only an outlet for those things but your heart heals every day with someone new to love. My doctor was absolutely right in that he felt the new child was a gift. He sure is.

Thank you for this. I recently gave birth to a healthy baby girl after losing a little boy in a late missed miscarriage last year. I have found it hard as feelings of both joy and renewed grief have overwhelmed me (and also feelings of guilt). You have reminded me of the gift I have been given, and though he will not be forgotten I have a new place to channel my love, not as a replacement, just an addition 😁