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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > Birth control after stillbirth

My son, David, was stillborn in early July. I desperately want to get pregnant again, even though I know it won't bring David back and that another baby can't possibly replace him. Since I had a c-section, we definitely need to wait several months, and we're meeting with our MFM soon to discuss exactly how dangerous a future pregnancy would be.

In the meantime, I obviously need to use birth control, but the idea of trying to prevent a pregnancy when I so desperately want another baby is so painful. Did anyone else experience this, and if so, how did you get over it?
August 18, 2021 | Unregistered CommenterDavid's mom
Hi David's Mom
I'm sorry to hear about your son. I hope you are surviving (only word I can think of) these weeks.
My daughter died in July and she was stillborn.
I can identify with your desperation to have another baby as soon as you can- I've been feeling the same way.
I've been told to wait as well and I'm constantly wondering whether we should or not. I miss my daughter so much but I know what it's like to want things to happen quickly. In my case I don't even know if they can.
I wonder if other parents are like us.
August 19, 2021 | Unregistered CommenterBridges
Hi Bridges -

I hope you're surviving, as well. I also don't know if it will be possible or advised for me to have another baby, but I have never wanted anything so desperately in my life. I miss my son so much, yet my arms feel so empty right now. The act of using birth control (which will prevent what I want so badly), just seems so difficult right now.
August 19, 2021 | Unregistered CommenterDavid's mom
Sending you a big hug David’s Mom.
I get it. It’s hard to follow medical advice when we have been through what we have.
And what we are currently facing too. It’s heartbreaking. Xx
August 20, 2021 | Unregistered CommenterBridges
David’s Mom,

First of all, I’m so sorry for your sweet David. I lost my daughter, Cadence after labor complications in May 2019, I had an emergency (horizontal) csection. My doctors told me that I could try to get pregnant in 2-3 cycles of my period. We started trying then and I was pregnant within 5 cycles I believe. I carried to term (had another csection, but planned this time). My son is 14 months old now. I never went on birth control, and have never been on birth control. Wishing you peace.

April
September 3, 2021 | Unregistered CommenterApril