Hello everyone,

I lost my daughter two weeks ago at 31+4. We had been told at 26 weeks that something was wrong and she wouldn’t survive (suspected CPAM, waiting on autopsy results). They wanted me to induce straight away, but I couldn’t do that as she was still moving and very much alive. I was diagnosed with polyhydramnios and had to have several amnioreductions. Eventually part of my membrane detached and I went into labour. I had to have an emergency c-section as she was hydropic and large for her gestation and my placenta was huge.
My question is, if anyone has had an emergency c-section, how long did you wait to try and conceive again? Obviously I need to wait for autopsy results, but I’m desperate to be a mother to a living child. I feel like I failed my sweet daughter and that my biological clock is ticking. I want so badly to be pregnant (as I should still be!).

Thanks

I’m so sorry for your loss Philomena’s mom. I don’t know if it being an emergency c-section makes a difference but I know that after my scheduled c for my rainbow, my doc said I should wait at minimum a year between deliveries (I decided not to have a 3rd child). But this is a question for your doctor. Peace to you mama.

I am so sorry for your lost Philomena's mum. I lost my Arielle 3 weeks ago at 40.4 days. I had to undergo an emergency c section as my labour wasn't progressing even after I was induced. I was told she died due to the umbilical cord wrapping around her neck. I have the same question. How long do I have to wait to try again. I am incredibly sad and I know I want another baby as soon as possible but I am afraid that I will fail again or my body will. I just need to know how long is safe to try again and will I need to have another c section?

Arielle’s mom—I’m sorry to read your story and that Arielle is not with you. Before deciding not to try again, I asked my doctor the how long question (a year between deliveries was the answer) and the answer to whether I’d need another csection was “it depends”. I know that’s not particularly helpful...but just to illustrate that these things are very individual. It seems standard of care is one year between deliveries but after that, questions of a repeat c, attempting a vaginal delivery etc are really dependent on things like the reason for your loss, the way your subsequent pregnancy progresses, how the delivery is going etc...so there are no easy answers. Sending you peace Arielle’s mom.

Thank you for the responses AB,
Can I ask, when you say between deliveries, do you mean from birth of first bub to second, or from birth of first bub to wait a year before trying again? Thanks

Hi Philomena’s mum: that means from birth of baby to birth of next baby. So if baby 1 was born in September, they would want the next baby to be due the following September. But in any case, I’d check with your doctor because these recommendations change with new research and knowledge.

Thanks so much AB. I’m going to the hospital on Wednesday for autopsy results. I will ask them 😊

Dear Philomenasmum and Arielle´s mum,

I am so sorry that your daughters are not with you.
My daughter died at 41+ weeks of pregnancy and I underwent emergency c-section trying to save her. I was told by my doctor to wait 12 months, but when I told him my age (old!) he stepped back and adviced my to wait at least 6 months. I looked this up and all I could find was that the uterine scar won´t benefit from waiting longer then 9 months to become pregnant again.
Now, all that being said: I remember all too well being in your place. Craving this baby that died, and if I can't have this baby than at least can I have another baby please? Soon? And being terrified of the mere thought of another pregnancy at the same time.
I sat with that emotion for some weeks and eventually months. Letting my body drain all the hormones. Letting my soul grieve my daughter. And as time went by, I slowly calmed down. I stopped thinking up names for the next baby, who surely would be a girl. (Yeah right.) I stopped convincing myself that I would be a grandmother if we waited any longer.
I am 18 months in now. I know this very child of mine is gone. My body knows it. I still cry.
In hindsight I think I needed that time to get reaquainted to this wonderful/terrible world.
So, there is much more scar tissue to grow than the uterine one. This, too, takes time and energy and care. No obgyn can tell, how long these scars should not be stretched by another pregnancy. Just you.