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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > July Pregnancy Thread

How is everyone doing? Some of you must have had their babies? Can you please let us know if you and the babies are ok?
July 9, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArav's Mom
Hi All-

I hope everyone is doing well and look forward to hearing if anyone’s babies have arrived! I’m 37+1. Things are going smoothly and at my appointment today they scheduled me for induction this coming Tuesday due to a history of blood pressure issues in pregnancy. My BP is hanging in there so I hope it continues to over the next week. I’m happy to have an end date in sight, but my anxiety about being in a hospital is pretty high. I still can’t picture having another little person in our house and I’m so scared of something going wrong. Baby is doing well though. Outside of my anxiety, this pregnancy has gone very smoothly, thank goodness. How is everyone else doing?
July 10, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMJ
I'm 37+5. She is looking good in every way they can check, though she's given me carpal tunnel and other 9th-month discomforts. The doctor will see whether he can strip my membranes tomorrow to get her moving. We can also choose to do an induction by next week if she doesn't come before.

I don't think anything will ever feel certain--it's hard to imagine an 'after' she comes. I'm glad the doctor is willing to induce because I feel like she's safer out than in at this point, now that I'm so aware of others' stories about cord knots and placental abruption, and everything else that can go wrong at the end.

I was happy to see this thread, and I hope everyone else is having healthy, uneventful pregnancies.

MJ--Good luck on Tuesday. I will be thinking of you.
July 10, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJack's mom
Hi all,

Our daughter Margot was born on Monday 8.7.2019 following our planned induction at 38 weeks. She was 3570g so no signs of the growth restriction and placental insufficiency that was the issue in our last pregnancy. The induction and labour were essentially straightforward - I had all intentions of not using pain relief but at 5cm I had a crisis of confidence and also began having flashbacks to my previous daughter’s labour (who was stillborn) so I opted for an epidural which helped separate the two experiences immensely. She was born onto my chest and cried immediately. I was in disbelief and still am, somewhat, 3 days later.

The last few days have been suffused with joy and happiness when looking at her and seeing my son with his highly anticipated sister but also has unopened a new wave of grief and sorrow at the fact that our first daughter isn’t here with us. Cue all the emotions!

I can’t wait to hear if the safe arrivals of our other babies in this thread. Sending you love, strength and a healthy dose of patience (I didn’t have any of it myself, it was torture!). Xx
July 11, 2019 | Unregistered Commentermeg
Meg - I am so happy to hear that your daughter Margot has arrived safely! What wonderful news! I can imagine that her birth, as you said, brings much joy but also stirs up some complicated feelings of grief for your precious first daughter.

I am 35+1 with this little gal. Everything is still looking good, and God willing, will continue to go smoothly until the end of the pregnancy. My anxiety was just terrible during the month of May...some things were going on at work and it seems to have triggered intense feelings of panic about the baby’s health, and my own health. I had to start a very low dose of medication, but I know it was the right decision - I am feeling so much better and it was at the point where I was having trouble eating and sleeping. Not healthy for me or for baby. I am in a much, much better mindset, and have even been able to enjoy some of these recent few weeks of the pregnancy. Didn’t expect that could happen, but it feels great.

Right now there is no plan to induce, but it certainly could change. I can’t believe that no matter what, I only have a month left to go at most. I cannot wait to finally hold and kiss and love on this sweet baby! I am just praying the doctors are right and that she is heart healthy, and will come home with us.

Thinking of you all! Wishing everyone a safe and healthy last few weeks/days of pregnancy!
July 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterM’s mama
Welcome Margot! Such beautiful news that you're here!!! How is she doing?

I'm 30 weeks and things are going well after a scare with potential head-thorax discrepancy/restricted growth which turned out to be ok after a check at the hospital. I'm so relieved! They will monitor the situation, but it seems like the baby is just on the smaller side in general and there is no discrepancy. My doctor said that we will induce a few days early which reduces some of my anxiety.

Wishing you all the best for the last few weeks!!!
July 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArav's Mom
She’s doing really well, thanks Arav’s Mom. Besides a bit of physiological jaundice, she’s feeding well and doing all the right things. I’m not sure if it’s possible to give her too many kisses, but for every one I give her she gets another couple that I would have lived to give her sister over the last 15 months :)

Can’t wait to hear more from this thread - it sounds like there will be a steady stream of new arrivals in the next few weeks. Sending love xx
July 15, 2019 | Unregistered Commentermeg
I know you all will understand me on this...

The hospital didn't have room for me in L&D on Friday when we were supposed to induce and they bumped my induction. =( Since I'm past 39 weeks, it makes me really nervous to leave the baby in at this point--so far she looks good but I know things can go so horribly wrong at the end and I just want her out where I can see her now.

They already did two non stress tests last week because I complained of reduced fetal movement (softer movements) and they said both times she was great.

I was really doing pretty well on the worry-front the last few weeks, but now I'm anxious. Cross your fingers they have room for me tomorrow! Or that I go into labor. =(

<3
July 21, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJM
Oh my goodness, that is so difficult. I’d be anxious in your shoes too, our induction date was a point that I crawled towards with increased desperation so to have yours changed on you I really feel for you. I really hope they find space for you tomorrow so you can meet your child. Can’t wait to hear of your little ones arrival xx
July 21, 2019 | Unregistered Commentermeg
Baby Vivian arrived on Tuesday! She is doing well and we all made it home.

How is everyone else?
July 26, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJM
Oh congratulations! Did you need the induction in the end, or did you naturally labour? xx
July 27, 2019 | Unregistered Commentermeg
We induced, which was a lot more difficult than expected.

My rainbow daughter got stuck and had some (temporary) medical problems as a result, so I was hoping this one would actually CRY when born. I totally freaked out when she didn't, but they got her to wake up and move pretty quickly and she got a good APGAR--which is a first for me.

Anyone else? I think there were more of us due around the same time.
July 27, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJM
JM, congratulations on sweet baby Vivian!!! I’m so glad you are home and that she is doing well. Sorry to hear the induction was more difficult than expected, and that you had a little bit of a scare right at the beginning. That’s great she got a good APGAR though!

I am 37+4 at this point, and am in full nesting mode. My husband seems to be as well, which is pretty cute. I’m already made it farther in this pregnancy than in my last, when I was induced at 37 weeks exactly. It feels odd to be farther, but I’m just relieved everything is still going smoothly. Praying all will continue to go well!

I sort of don’t know how I’m keeping it all together with the birth coming so soon, but somehow I’m managing. Usually when I first wake up each day I feel anxious and have to talk myself down, but then feel pretty good throughout the day.

Thinking of everyone here and looking forward to more updates <3
July 28, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterM’s mama
Hi all,

Baby Fiona was born July 17 after a scheduled induction at 38 weeks. The delivery was pretty fast and easy, and she came out yelling which was such a relief. She is doing wonderfully. She is very vocal and alert and really lets us know what she needs. Overall we are feeling good. Our son died at 11 days old, so I definitely had some anxiety and still continue to, worrying that something is wrong or that something is going to happen to her. We are settling in and out older daughter is loving the big sister role. Our older daughter has been talking a lot about our son and how much she misses him and she asked me one day if this baby is going to die too, which was a hard conversation. I tried to reassure her and keep it together, but I have to admit sometimes I think the the same thing or find myself praying that she will be okay. I hope everyone else is doing well and can’t wait to hear updates as more little ones arrive!!
July 31, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMJ
Oh wow! Welcome to the world Fiona! I’m glad you are doing well and that you are passed the ‘11 day’ mark. That must have been a difficult time for you to navigate. As time goes on, I hope your concerns can be alleviated but I do understand that once bitten, twice shy. That trust is difficult to come by after losing a child.

Cant wait to hear of Arav’s Mom having her baby! Are there anyone else’s due in our group? Sending everyone lots of love x
August 1, 2019 | Unregistered Commentermeg
Hello Vivian and Fiona! So glad to read about your safe arrival. I hope you are all slowly getting to a place where joy overtakes the fear.

I still have to wait a little for my little one (mid September), but it's getting more real. After a scare with potential growth restriction everything seems fine now. They are also sending me to a specialist to check for blood clotting issues on Monday, but I actually think they tested that after I lost my son and everything was fine. I have moved countries since, so the records are a bit spotty. I guess it's better to double-check in case something was really not tested. Otherwise I'm actually feeling pretty good at the moment. The little guy is kicking a lot. That's so reassuring. Unless he kicks too much and then I get scared that he is struggling with the cord or something. Arav probably died from a cord accident, so I have these images in my head that I know aren't accurate but pervasive nonetheless. Anyway, mostly I feel positive. My doctor already assured me that we would induce at 39 weeks. I hope the hospital will go along. Did anyone have to advocate for themselves?
August 2, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArav's Mom
Just popping in to say: Welcome to the world, Fiona! I have had my hands full with little Vivian, who is doing well so far. I hope everyone else on this thread has had happy and healthy outcomes! I'm thinking of you all.
September 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJM
I just popped in to see how Arav’s Mom went? You were due mid-Sept, did your baby arrive safe and sound? I’m thinking of you xx
September 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMeg