search discussions

glow in the woods

front page
the archives
what is this place?
the contributors
comment policy

Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > May Pregnancy Thread

Hi everyone,

I thought it might be nice to set up this month’s new thread. How is everyone going?

We’ve moved past the 29 week mark. It’s been a surreal week - I guess we were so focused on getting to 28 weeks, the idea of reaching it and then passing it never felt possible. The doctors are pleased with how everything is going...everything is looking perfectly normal. Anxiety is still well and truly there - this little one is not the most active, with my mind slipping to dark places easily.

Hope everyone is safe and well!
May 5, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterS
Hi! Thanks for setting up the new thread. I'm 20 weeks today. and getting more anxious. I have the anatomy scan on Monday.
S, sorry you don't feel relief now that you have passed the 28 weeks. Our difficult week is 27. Last time (pregnancy with my living daughter after the loss) I had a total freakout that week and went to the ER. After I felt a little calmer, because she was pretty active and I could do kick counts all the time.
Sending you light!
May 8, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArav's Mom
Hello mamas,

Our pregnancy is apparently going well (so far) and I’m also 29 weeks. Mentally though it’s been such a struggle lately - last week was our stillborn daughters first birthday, and now I’m in the awful gestation where things went wrong for her. Last year I had a growth scan for reduced fetal movements for her at 29w (which appeared normal) but then she died at 32w. So now that I’m in that time frame with this little one, I’m finding I’m more anxious, very pessimistic, irritable, short with my three year old...the list goes on. I’d like to think that our next scan at 32w will reassure me, but who am I kidding?!

The only light is that I’ve been forcing myself since my daughters birthday last week to now focus on this baby and give them my attention. So I’m currently sat in the beginnings of their nursery while I write this. Some degree of nesting has begun.

How is everyone else doing?

Also I’m getting to the point where I need to decide re birth - elective CS or induction of labour. I’ve had both so either option is viable for us. On paper clearly a vaginal birth has more positives, but I just don’t trust myself to have the strength to get through labour mentally. What are others thinking in regards to this?

Sending love xx
May 9, 2019 | Unregistered Commentermeg
I've been thinking of you all. I'm 29 weeks tomorrow and the baby has been deemed normal and healthy in every way they can check. Our later pregnancy problems and neonatal death were all caused by chromosome abnormalities so we are past our trouble points in this pregnancy, but I'm still trying to get used to the idea that she will come.

Meg--I need to start deciding about birth options as well. My living daughter had shoulder dystocia (probably due to being big) so we are going to start getting size estimates at the next appointment. If this one is also large then we will do a scheduled c-section.
May 9, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJack's mom
Lovely to see these replies. I hope everyone has had a smooth couple of weeks xx

We’ve hit 31 weeks, and are even starting to do some baby shopping. It’s really nice. Everything is apparently looking good, although I’m getting surprised by the strength of the Braxton Hicks...just glad they pass quickly I guess?
May 16, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterS
Another (calendar!) month almost is everyone going?
May 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterS
Hi Everyone,

Everything is fine over here so far. I'm 24 weeks now. As I am approaching the week my son died (27) I am getting more and more nervous. Luckily, this little one likes to move, so I can do my kick counts already. I have another appointment on Tuesday, and I think from then on we will increase the frequency of the check-ups. At the moment it's only once a month. More monitoring helped during my last PAL.

How are you all doing?
June 7, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArav's Mom
Hi all, glad to hear everyone is doing well. I’m at 33 weeks and getting so anxious to meet this little one, while also dealing with increasing anxiety. I have weekly NST’s that started last week, so far so good. I have been trying to get things ready for the hospital and for baby coming home, but that has been such a struggle. I find myself feeling so scared at the prospect of washing new things or getting everything ready, only to not be able to use them again. I’m so scared of another loss, I just don’t think I can bear it. At the same time, I have a hard time picturing things working out and having another living child in our life. I have a history of early delivery, both my living daughter and our son who died were born at 37 weeks, so I feel like I have to be prepared for another early arrival! I hope everyone else continues to do well.
June 10, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMJ
Hi, just checking in how everyone is doing. Any news? How are you feeling?
June 22, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArav's Mom
Hi Arav’s Mom,

How are you going?

I’m going ok. We’re at 36wks, just over a week to go until our c-section. I’m nursing a bout of food poisoning tonight, so it’s not been a great night. We contacted the hospital, who just said to ride it out at home. Naturally, there was a healthy dose of panic as the ill feeling kicked in. We’re so close now...I just want everything to be ok.

Take care everyone x
June 22, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterS
Hi all,

Ugh food poisoning is the pits! I hope it’s short lived S and doesn’t go through the whole family. I had some a month ago too. These lowered immune systems are rubbish!

All the very best for your CS next week too. I imagine it feels so close, but an eternity at the same time (that’s how I’m feeling anyway). I’m booked in for an induction in two weeks time.

We had a scare at 34w when I went in for a NST. Baby’s heart rate was irregular so I needed a cardiac echo but thankfully we got the all clear after that. It took a week to get that appointment though so my mental health went in decline and I had flashbacks and lots of lost sleep.

Bring on that finish line. This experience has exhausted me in every way, and I’m still unable to imagine bringing someone home in two weeks.
June 22, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMeg
I just came to check in on everyone. I'm so glad to see that you all responding above are having relatively healthy pregnancies continue and getting good results when tested.

I'm coming up on 36 weeks and having a few (non-dangerous) complications. Hopefully we will be able to induce around 38 weeks.

I also have trouble imagining bringing someone home--I just realized today we have to actually bring baby clothes to the hospital so she will have something to wear home!
June 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJack's mom