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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > Moms that lost a baby due to traumatic birth

I am reaching out to see if there were any other moms that have lost a child due to a traumatic birth. Baby was born via forceps and passed away after a couple of days. I needed surgical repair because of my injuries and tearing. I was wondering when you tried again and if you had a cesarean the second time around. Also, how you cope with other family members having healthy babies and your relationship with them.
April 3, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterEmma
Emma, I didn't have this situation, but I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you. My rainbow was a fairly traumatic birth (shoulder dystocia, cord burst, low apgar, more) but she made a complete recovery. I'm having a third birth this summer, and I may need to do a c-section to avoid a repeat though.
April 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJack's mom
Yes, I lost my son after a traumatic birth. Currently weighing the pros and cons for c section for our second. I don’t want to post all the details but would be willing to chat more via email. I’m so sorry for your loss. Missing our babies is horrible, and a difficult physical recovery adds so much more pain to that loss plus fear for future pregnancies. You’re not alone.
April 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn
Hi Emma

My son died 2 weeks ago from birth trauma... lack of oxygen in a c section causing brain damage. It is so hard to find anyone to relate to in this manner as it was all so shocking and sudden . He lived 2 weeks .. this was my second child and a c section . The scar tissue was too heavy to get thru in time ... all crappy luck .

I understand your shock and pain and here to reach out..

May 10, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea
Our son had HIE event five hours after pprom, induced, forceps-assisted 37hr birth (36w6d.) They resuscitated him but he had brainstem damage and we withdrew support at 10 days. He would be 5 years old this Aug. After an early miss last year, I'm now 26.5 weeks along with our daughter. We're scheduling a C section. I feel a little guilty for not thinking of natural - but this also has to do with my husband's anxiety. I'm 39 and our cord has velamentous insertion, I was really sick during my 1hr glucose screening so I'll be doing the 3hr . . but I'm not expecting that to be a problem. There's just enough real/marginal risk, and so much anxiety. The surgical option seems like less trauma.

Does anyone else struggle with wanting to complete gestation? Our scheduled delivery is 39.5 weeks, at the last US our daughter was a few days smaller than expected (and everyone in my family tends to deliver 41/42 weeks.) Part of me knows more than could ever be helpful - so I know she's better off staying as long as possible. The other parts of me wish we could schedule for 37 weeks or ASAP. I just don't trust pregnancy anymore.
June 4, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterEmily
Yes, I think many of us have had traumatic birth stories. My first born son passed away last April due to an undiagnosed velamentous cord insertion. Our doctor told us we are going the natural route while I was in the hospital until things went south. We ended up having to do an emergency c-section and lost our newborn son 5 hours after birth due to irreversible brain damage from lack of oxygen. We are having our second child in 7 weeks and our new doctor has insisted a c-section. We are also not being taken at 40 weeks, but at 39 weeks.

To answer your question with others having healthy babies, it's always a struggle. You wouldn't wish this on anyone, but you also feel like it shouldn't have happened to you neither. You're hurt. You're angry. Those feelings never leave no matter how much time has passed.
August 1, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterG's mom