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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > New life after SIDS loss

Hello all,
My husband and I lost our beautiful baby boy, our first and only child to SIDS. We are anxious to try to give him a sister or brother, but we are terrified that this can happen again. I find myself asking “are we just not able to have children?,Will we never get blessed with another angel again?” I was hoping to find some beautiful rainbow baby stories, that will help my husband and I put aside some of the fears that we have. Thank you for ur time, and love and good thoughts towards you all.

Jacobs mom
March 25, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJacobs mom
Dear Jacobs mom,

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy, life is so dreadfully harsh sometimes .
I will share a little of my story. In 2016 my husband and I, after 10 years of trying various forms of IVF, found that I was pregnant. Our daughter was born in the November by emergency c section but tragically, suffered catastrophic injuries during birth and we had to make the decision to turn off her life support. She died 16 hours later. It was and still is awful.
We decided to try agin but were advised to wait for 10 months and so I was fortunate to become pregnant again in September 2017.
The inquest into our daughter's death was held in April 2018 and on the third day my waters broke and our son was born - again by emergency c section - two days later. He was born 8 weeks early and we spent five weeks in NICU before coming home. It was terrifying and the obvious thought was that we might lose him too. He had a rough start but is now thriving. He is a total delight and his innocence and the fact that he is not scarred by the trauma of his sister's death is comforting. We will obviously share her story with him but not for now.
I still often hold him to me, feel his little warm body and his heart beating and mourn again for her and for our loss. It does not make it any better.
But I see him laughing and the expression of triumph when he manages to stand on his own for the first time and I know it was the right thing to do for all of us and that despite everything he is so much worth it.
I wish you you luck and strength and I hope Jacob will become a big brother to a lovely healthy sibling.
March 28, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKE
Thank you so much for sharing. It really helps to such wonderful rainbow stories.
April 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJacobs mom