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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > VBAC

Hi all,

I’ll start with the (only bit of) good news: last month I had a VBAC. Devastatingly, it was the Stillbirth of my daughter at 32 weeks. Heartbroken doesn’t even begin to cut it right now.

Is there anyone who has gone on to have their rainbow babies via VBAC, and could anyone tell me about their mindset before labour? ie decision making around birth mode elective CS, early inductions etc?

Obviously I’m not pregnant again but was searching through the glow archives but hadn’t come across any discussion about this.

Thank you xx
May 30, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterK
Hi K, I cannot answer your question about a VBAC, but I did want to offer my love and sincere condolences to you. I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved daughter. It has been three months since I lost my own baby girl. I know how difficult the first few weeks are. Sending you healing thoughts. <3
June 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterM’s mama
Dear K, I am so very sorry for your loss. There are no easy answers on this. I lost my daughter at four days old due to complications because my uterus ruptured as I was attempting a VBAC. I knew the statistics and I was squarely in the low risk category, but someone has to fall into the minuscule nightmarish percentile. Given that you have already endured the unspeakable pain of losing a baby, I would hate to have that happen again because of a uterine rupture during a second VBAC attempt. That said, it is highly unlikely that it would happen and I have never met anyone in person to whom it has happened. And there are risks with an elective c section too. There are always risks. Please be gentle with yourself for now.
June 27, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJane
Hello. I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our son to a cord accident on May 30th. He was 38 weeks. He was my second VBAC. My first born was a c/s in 2010. My second living child was a perfect VBAC in 2012. I had a sudden loss at 15 weeks and then 18 months later delivered my sleeping boy in a second VBAC. If we have anymore children I'm really unsure what i will do- part of me wants to have an early elective c/s because of risks of cord accidents but the other part of me knows that each pregnancy and birth is different and I've had two successful VBACs. It's all very scary but I wish you the best with making a decision when the time comes.
July 19, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterOllie's Mama