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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > Recent success stories after stillbirth

Hi everyone,
I'm heading closer to TTC territory--I'm planning on it with my husband beginning in March or April, and my nerves are going to drive me crazy already. Getting pregnant again is the only way we will find out if we can have a baby after my stillbirth--there's really no way around it. And we so badly want a living baby together to start our family. Can someone please share with me their subsequent pregnancy after stillbirth, whether full term or not? I'm looking for some helps to read stories and know that logically there is a chance I can have a living baby.
February 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNada
Hi Nada, of course, I'm happy to share. We lost our daughter back in June 2014 to a concealed placental abruption at 28 weeks. It took us about 9 mo to be ready to try again. We were lucky and got pregnant quickly (that has never been my problem, the staying pregnant is my issue). Anyway, I'm AMA, have a uterine anomaly, but they didn't find any clotting or other issues. Our little girl was small but otherwise healthy. When I became pregnant again, i was deemed high risk so an MFM and ob saw us regularly. I delivered a healthy boy at 37weeks via scheduled csection in dec 2015...the pregnancy thread here was a lifeline, as was a counselor, a pregnancy after loss support group, and the fact that several moms from our perinatal loss support group also became pregnant again at the same time (and all of us--I think it was4-5 of us had healthy living babies). We all held each other's hands, both in person and virtually.

It was hard, very hard but having all this support was very important and made it easier because, a little bit like when you meet other loss parents who reassure you you're not nuts, other pregnancy after loss parents really helped manage my anxiety by validating it and sharing theirs with me. Sending you a big hug.
February 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAB
I could do with some encouragement too..
Today has been a big day for me with seeing a rainbow baby girl one week younger than Tilly whom is her second cousin and then having an afternoon tea with my work friends including my good friend who is pregnant. I am so happy for her and remember how happy I was when I was 31 weeks. When I struggle with seeing pregnant women I have to think to myself "that will be you again one day and people will be just as happy for you", almost like that saying treat others how you would like to be treated.
Did anyone else use this mantra?
February 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTilly's mum
I think I have devoured all the rainbow stories, keeping a tab on the pregnancy treads to feel confident that it IS possible!
As for your Mantra, Tilly's mum... I think I use it too, even if I dont realise it.
The other pregnancies always upset me, especially as they near the end, because I truly don't want what happened to me to happen to them... And then when the baby is born I am reminded of what I did not have. But after a few months the babies no longer remind me of what would have been... not so much! They show me what WILL BE! (When positiveness does not elude me)

I am now 35w, my second soon should be now having his 2nd birthday... but he is not! He was supposed to be ten years younger than his sister,but he did not survive a concealed placental abruption. Today should be a double birthday party, but it isn't...

But I am confident my third will arrive in a few weeks, that I will hold him in my arms and see him look at me, at his daddy and his big sister.

My aunt lost her first daughter, and then she had three wonderfull little boys!
I hold on to this idea to feel I will succeed as so will you!
Best of luck to us all
February 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMarta
Hi Nada, I have had 2 rainbow babies since the stillbirth of our daughter at 20 weeks in 2012. I did have trouble getting a pregnancy to stick after her loss and ended up taking low dose aspirin during the pregnancy of our first rainbow.
Apart from that the pregnancies were normal and scans were uneventful. I used a Doppler at home for both and found it so reassuring.

Tilly's Mum, Don't be hard on yourself re finding others pregnancies tricky to be around. I have found only in the past year that it's easier to be around other pregnant women. Even having my two rainbows I still struggled and was resentful. I really believe only time can help with this. You can only feel how you feel- feelings aren't a choice so if you don't feel happy for other pregnant women it's totally ok and understandable.

All the best for your rainbows, I hope it happens as soon as you are ready ladies x
February 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShelby's Mum
AB, thank you for sharing your subsequent pregnancy with me. I'm sorry for your loss and I'm so glad you now have your rainbow. That is great that the loss support group was so helpful, and there were mothers pregnant with you. I hope to be in your position when I do is definitely hard and I'm sure when I am pregnant it will be even harder.

Tilly's Mum, I hope that we get a lot of good stories and encouragement on this thread! I know if you search on the glow site for terms like "rainbow" or other things you can find previous threads about rainbow babies....I have done this before and found it helpful, too. I like your mantra. That is a great way of looking at pregnant women, to say that it will be us again some day, and hopefully with a wonderful outcome.

Marta, congratulations on reaching 35 weeks! Also hearing about your aunt helps. When are you having your induction? I wish you the best...I know you have been moving forward with as positive of a mindset as you possibly can have. I am sure that must have helped you many times. How are you feeling?

Shelby's Mum, thank you for sharing the story of your two rainbows, and I am sorry for the loss of your baby. I too am going to take low dose aspirin when I begin to TTC, but that's more because it's a safeguard as there was a clot on my placenta with no definite clotting issues. I am glad your pregnancies were uneventful :) That gives me hope and comfort. Do you mind me asking if they found a cause for your baby's passing?
February 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNada
Nada, my Shelby was lost due to a very rare condition (Arthrogryposis). It presents in a range of ways but hers was so severe it meant it affected every one of her joints as well as her lung development. This had no relation to the taking aspirin for my first rainbow and aspirin wouldn't have prevented her condition. The experts told me "It's like lightning striking- no reason, no cure and couldn't have been prevented".
February 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShelby's Mum
Shelbys Mum, I'm so sorry! These rare diagnoses and deaths are so unfair, it really is like lightning striking. I hate that that happened to you. But I am happy for your two rainbows. I know you will never forget Shelby but I hope they are giving you comfort. :)

My friend just had her rainbow baby today! She lost her son at 38+4 with no cause found last year. She got pregnant four months after and just gave Birth to her healthy rainbow boy today. She referred me to her MFM and is very happy with them. They did an amniocentesis for lung maturity and delivered him at 37 weeks. I am so happy and relieved for her as she reached out to me when she heard about my stillbirth at the same gestation as her son. I hope to be with my rainbow one day too...
February 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNada
Nada, I wish you the best and God bless you in this time and when you try to conceive again. I thank you and all moms who wrote their experiences here. I have a similar situation. I lost my son at 39, 5 weeks due to placental abruption almost 4 months ago. He passed away on October 16th, 2016. My OBGyn said I should wait 6 to 9 months to TTC. I am really anxious since I am 41 years old. I had an emergency C-section and in my last visit my doctor scared me talking about uterine rupture... well, after reading all your posts I feel better. My doctor promised me to run some blood test before I start TTC. I wish you all the best and let's keep the hope of having our rainbow babies.
February 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMiguel Angel's mom