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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > TTC after full-term still birth (concealed placental abruption)


It has been 5 weeks for me since my husband and I lost our first baby, Riyad, at 38 weeks due to a concealed placental abruption. We were completely blindsided as there were no warning signs and I was not at risk for anything at the time. Subsequent blood tests for any type of clotting disorder came back negative.

After talking to my husband and the both of us deciding to be extremely positive and deal with this loss as best as we can, we decided that we want to TTC as soon as we can. I know I will still be grieving and so I am going to start seeing a grief counselor beginning this Sunday. Also, I have begun to eat very healthy (I don't really have an appetite due to grieving but when I do eat, it's healthier than carelessly picking whatever is in front of me) and have started to take prenatals again with 800 mg folic acid.

I am just wondering for other loss moms who have conceived relatively quickly--when did your periods come back? Mine still hasn't come back, I know it varies. My milk came in a few days after I gave birth but I suppressed it successfully with tight fitting sports bras. My lochia stopped at 4 weeks, and I have begun to have what I *think* are PMS symptoms that I used to have, but I am not sure. Is it normal for it not to have come back yet? I am hoping I am having PMS symptoms and next week it will arrive...

Since I didn't have risk factors and tested negative for clotting disorders, my OB believes that my concealed abruption was a "fluke" (though I'm skeptical of that, I don't understand how a fluke could happen when I was low risk for anything happening?) and he said since my birth was vaginal I just need to wait after one cycle to try again. Right now I am working on getting healthy and shedding the weight I gained after pregnancy, as well as getting my mind in a better place through exercise, counseling, positive thinking...

Anyway, I guess I am just trying to get everyone else's TTC experience, when your period started again, if you did anything or took any supplements to help you conceive faster. Also, during your second pregnancy after abruption--did you do anything different? My OB recommended taking baby aspirin and extra NSTS, ultrasounds, etc. I am going to have a second opinion with an MFM, I am going to request more blood tests to rule anything else out that could have caused the abruption just in case, and see what else they recommend.

Thank you for all your help, and I am so very sorry for all of your losses....wishing the best for all of you <3
December 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNada
I had a similar experience, but did not do a vaginal delivery.
Mine was not the first, but in the same sense I had no prior history that would put me at risk, my blood work for everything and some more camenegative too.
I am trying to remember, but at least when I had a miscarriage it came "late", not the average 1 month... maybe a month and a half. After the abruption, also it took some time to get regular, but I was forced to wait for more than a year, so it did not worry me that much.

I am taking baby aspirin, and so far I haven't had any real scare...

best of luck for you, the sooner the better! :)
December 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarta
Hi Marta, I am very sorry for your loss, and congratulations on your current pregnancy. I hope it goes well and is very uneventful :) it's comforting in an odd way to know that you also tested negative and didn't have risk factors for Abruption. I at least know that maybe the doctors didn't miss anything after all when they tested me for clotting disorders. Also that you are on baby aspirin as well. Wishing you the best of luck.
December 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNada