search discussions

glow in the woods

front page
the archives
what is this place?
the contributors
comment policy
contact

Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > what if it happens again...

On december 2014 we lost our second child, a beautiful baby boy, our little Pedro, due to a conceiled and total placental abruption.
He was 2 days away of completing his 34 weeks.

We are currently expecting a new baby boy, today completing 22 w... But I have not yet been able to fully embrace this new joy, because I keep thinking what if things go wrong again this time?

I know it is normal to be afraid, by I Iwish I could be naive again and expect only the happy endings
I wish I could look into my older daughter' eyes and say confidently, you will really have a brother.
November 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarta
Sending you a massive hug and lots of love. I can only imagine how anxious you are. Xxc
November 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEmma
Dear Marta,
I'm so sorry to hear about Pedro's passing. I too had a concealed abruption that killed my daughter in December 2014, though at 39 weeks during labour. The fear and lack of trust in your body's ability to keep your baby safe inside is so difficult to live with during a subsequent pregnancy. Keep breathing and taking it one day at a time. Try not to add self recrimination for being afraid during your already stressful pregnancy. Easier said than done, I know. You're doing great. Hang in there.
Sending love
November 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGaby
Dear Gaby, dear Emma
thank you so much for your soothing messages!
I'm sorry Gaby that you suffered as well the loss of your darling daughter. And at such late stage.
I do hope that despite the great sadness of our pasts that brought us here to this community, we can find a happier future... eventually...

:)
November 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarta
Oh Marta, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and I completely understand how stressed you are and apprehensive. I felt the same during my subsequent pregnancy. It was very hard. A quick mantra helped me: breathe,today I am pregnant. It was the best I could do...and then my doctors were very kind. I had an extra ultrasound the week of my loss (they made up a reason for it being necessary)...and the pregnancy threads here were a lifeline. Perhaps you can revive them? Good luck, thinking of you.
November 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAB