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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > Another disabled baby

I lost my disabled child in January. It was scary enough trying again. Now 20 weeks in we find out things are not great, we are looking at a possible disability. Not the same one. I just cannot handle this. I was already so fragile...beyond terrified, there are no words to describe...and now. To do is all again. the surgeries, the hospitals, the anxiety...the husband shutting down. For some completely idiotic reason I thought maybe a healthy child could help us come back together. I feel like this is killing us. I don't see the point in eating, getting out of bed. I already was just trying to keep it together for this pregnancy. I know we can do it, some days. We have done it before. But there is so much anger. All these healthy babies being born all around me. All me excited happy friends. They don't understand, I am looking at a much different picture than they are. I am feeling defeated. Way beyond depressed.
October 31, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPS
I am so sorry. I found comfort in your post with a saddened heart. I to feel that everyone around me is getting healthy babys to the point I find myself struggling to be happy for others. I end up just wondering why not me. I already have two children with the same disability which my youngest passed away from. We have done the genetic testing and it doesn't appear to be hereditary however the odds are not in my favor 2 out of 3 of my children had it. I'm so fearful that this one will have it too. I hope everything turns out ok for you. Try to stay strong.
November 1, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShawna
I am so sorry. I found comfort in your post with a saddened heart. I to feel that everyone around me is getting healthy babys to the point I find myself struggling to be happy for others. I end up just wondering why not me. I already have two children with the same disability which my youngest passed away from. We have done the genetic testing and it doesn't appear to be hereditary however the odds are not in my favor 2 out of 3 of my children had it. I'm so fearful that this one will have it too. I hope everything turns out ok for you. Try to stay strong.
November 1, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShawna