Hi All,
Well, it's past mid May so not sure if there's much point to it...but maybe I'm not the only one struggling and hoping someone else starts the conversation?? :)

This is a thread for anyone currently pregnant to share their updates, anxieties, hopes, questions, and really anything else about subsequent pregnancy.
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I'm 34+2 as I type this. It's been a few challenging weeks, for all sorts of reasons. Two hospitalisations (no fun), one birthday that felt sooo wrong (how can I celebrate my birth when I failed my daughter?!) as almost everyone assumed I was happy because I'm pregnant and didn't even mention Maia's absence, and the tiredness that comes from being alert to every single kick (breathe, he's ok) and ache (what's that? Ligament? Gas? Contraction? Placental abruption again?!). I think I am very close to being certifiably nuts now....

We had our last appointment with our OB/surgeon/consultant yesterday. Next time we see him (unless something happens) will be on the day of the planned section, 13th June. It felt like a big deal, another milestone ticked and yet, not really anything new to discuss or ask him! I am planning my checks for the next 3.5 weeks and it feels strange to think that after that, life will change all over again.
Maia was my first child so I am starting to become even more aware of how utterly unprepared I am for what comes next. Loss or life, I feel ill equipped. Ah well. We'll see. One hour at a time.

How's the rest of the preggers group coping....?

Hugs and love to all

I'm sorry you've had to be hospitalized. That's so stressful. I'm 15 2/7 weeks today and I totally get that fatigue from constant worry and hyperalertness. My husband and I were just talking about how exhausting it is to be on edge constantly and best case scenario is that we have almost 23 weeks of pregnancy anxiety ahead of us. (And I'm sure parenting after loss anxiety is exhausting too)
My son died 2 years ago from complications of prematurity after a 2.5 month NICU stay and I had horrible complications from retained placenta that required 10 surgeries. I've had 2 miscarriages in the 2 years as well. So I still can't wrap my mind around the possibility that this pregnancy can end well. Why would pregnancy #4 end well if 1-3 ended so badly? Plus 15 weeks into my first pregnancy everything looked great and this time Is really high risk given everything that happened during and after my first pregnancy. I'm terrified I'm going through all of the hassles of pregnancy only to devastated again. And in the moments where I can imagine a good ending to this pregnancy, I realize I'm envisioning my son, not this baby. And then I'm sad for myself and my son who didn't get a chance and guilty because this poor baby gets parents who are still grieving its older brother. Sorry this doesn't make sense but my mind is such a jumble. Pregnancy after loss is so complicated. I miss the naive happiness I had with my son's pregnancy.

This post is long overdue. Our daughter arrived two weeks ago. She's healthy and doing well. I stopped posting because we had several scares late in the pregnancy. Around 35 weeks, I started to have intense contractions and I put myself on a modified bedrest in hopes that the baby would stick around a bit longer. She finally arrived at 37.5 weeks and she's perfect.

It's strange though because every once in a while, I miss the pregnancy. Not the anxiety but the excitement, the care and attention I received, and that cautious waiting. Now she's here and we're expected to be like every other parent of a newborn, but our experience is so different. We have a living child so the newborn stuff isn't new but our appreciation for everything (even the sleepless nights) is different than most parents. Yesterday a friend said "you look great, you don't look exhausted." I wanted to respond that I look great because as much as sleep deprivation sucks, losing your child is way worse. So anything is better than that so I can't be too upset about sleep deprivation.

I only get 4 months off of work and I'm already dreading going back to work. I wish I lived in the UK or somewhere less backwards than the US when it comes to maternity leave. I'm trying to enjoy each day. We've been waiting such a long time to have this baby in our lives.

I hope you all are doing well. Enjoy every minute of your pregnancy!

Idealist--so happy to see your update. Best wishes to you.

Idealist, welcome to your baby girl! I hope things are going well.

Gaby, are you hanging in there?

G, how are things?

Sorry this thread has been so quiet!

Hugs,