Last Thursday I had a scheduled c-section for my Angel Baby Leif, he was diagnosed with Meckle Gruber syndrome, a fatal diagnosis that is caused by genetic effects. It still seems so surreal yet so real by the pain in my chest and the longing in my body. I am 22 years old and a mother of an amazing 3 year old who has kept me above the constant battering waves of pain and greif. I don't think I could hurt this bad or miss someone so much. Nothing is the same. I feel as of I am staring through a veil, dazed and weighed in heavy emotions I cannot even fathom.

I'm here to support. I'm here to talk about Leif and his life and those who are also going through such things.

Shahalee

Shahalee, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby Leif. You have found a wonderful support network and I hope we can be here for you as you travel this road. Feel free to come and talk as much as you like/need to. Huge hugs xxxxx

Shahalee, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby Leif. I have been on this site off and on the past three years, and it has been an invaluable sounding board and support system. Please know that we are all here for you. Sending love and prayers.

It has been very tough. Today has been by far one of the hardest days. It comes in waves. So happy to be here.

Last Thursday is so recent. It's completely normal not to feel functional at this point. It's amazing that you're being such a good mom to your living child right now.

Yes. It is but honestly it feels like it has been years and months and weeks. Still.so unreal. Still so raw.
We have yet to explain to our little girl about her brother.
And hoping to have a celebration of life gathering for him at the end of this month.
In two days was my original due date..
It hurts to think he is gone already. But boy, was I ever thankful for being able to hold him and carry him for as long as I had.

I wouldn't know what to do without my little girl. She truly is my miracle. They both are.

Shahalee,
Your post brought back so many emotions for me. I am not that far out-we just lost our daughter a little less than 8 months ago. I remember those first few weeks home after losing our daughter, the grief is all consuming and the sadness weighs heavy on your chest. I am so sorry about your precious Leif. I am so sorry for everything. Please, please, reach out for support any time. There are so many people on here that will be more than willing to lend a listening ear, cry with you, and share our stories if you want to hear them. Please know that you are never alone.