I awoke early this morning with contractions. I woke my partner and we moved in a silent sort of dance. It was time. Time to birth the baby I'd longed for, prayed for, cried over, rejoiced in, loved, feared and waited for.
We called my doula and told her to meet us at the hospital. Every moment felt so similar to that moment 3 years ago, when I birthed our rainbow's big sister. Here I was, a day before my due date, 37 months and 4 days after I delivered our daughter. My heart was wrapped in fear, and I would have done anything to protect our baby.
I labored, moaned and cried and prayed. I felt the loss of Mia all over again as I felt the birthing pain of our son.
"I can't do this," I cried out during the long hours of labor. The loss of Mia too strong, the pain too great. I was afraid.
My doula grabbed my hand. I don't remember exactly what she said to me but the words she said in that moment were enough to loosen my fear enough for my body to give birth to this child. I couldn't do anything to bring Mia back, but I could do my best to give this baby the best shot I could. In that moment, our son needed me in the same way Mia had needed me once.
With screams and pushes, I birthed our son.
He's here. Despite a difficult pregnancy, fear, grief and trials, our sweet rainbow babe is here. They ran some tests on him when he was born, to rule out the medical conditions his sister had, and so far he looks healthy.
Israel Cameron Cooper was born at 3:42pm on October 14 at 7lbs 7oz. Both mama and baby are doing well.
I can't take my eyes off of him. He's so perfect. I don't want to look away, thinking that if I glance away only for a moment I'll miss it. I'm still fearful, though less so now that I can hold him in my arms and see that he's ok.
He's here. My rainbow baby. And I will always be grateful

Congratulations Emily C! What wonderful news, celebrating with you and remembering Israel's big sister, Mia. Huge hugs and best wishes for wonderful times with your baby boy. xxx

Welcome Israel, well done Emily... thinking of you all and remembering Mia.

What a beautiful post, Emily. Gives me hope. Welcome, Israel! Sending love to you all. Remembering Mia with you.

Welcome Israel! Much love to you and sending you all the best and remembering Mia too.

I am so happy to see this post! I am so glad that he is safely in your arms and that you can look into his eyes for reassurance that he is here and real and wonderful! Sending Mia love today and wishing she were here with you to celebrate the birth of her baby brother.

Congratulations Emily! I'm so happy for you... Sending best wishes to you and Israel, and remembering Mia.

Congratulations! A rainbow child is a wonderfully magical gift. Big sister Mia is right there by yours and Israel's side.
xoxo

Congrats!!!

Congratultions on Israels safe arrival.

Dear Emily, belated congratulations to you, and welcome to Israel! I read your words, and felt so moved by them, thank you for sharing... sending you all much love, and remembering Israel's big sister Mia x

Emily it's so wonderful to ready your beautiful birth story. Welcome Israel!! I know the feeling of not wanting to look away for fear you will miss something, or they will be gone. I get like that still, 2 rainbows later with our youngest now 6mo old. My arms still feel empty sometimes and I want to hold them all the time. I want to carry them with me everywhere, smother them with kisses, and take endless videos and pictures so I will always have them to help keep my memories. I wish I had more with their brother. I think how I would spend my time differently with him had I known how it would go. I think how I would have gotten professional pictures of him also. But I can't change any of that and now our girls get all the love we can possibly give them. Israel will get that from you too. He will know Mia. Remembering her with you today, and wishing you all the best with your little rainbow. Good job being brave and strong for him and for yourself.