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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > Uterine rupture

I lost my boy at 39.5 weeks due to uterine rupture on June 12th. The uterus tore open in the scar because I was having contractions back to back. The hospital kept me waiting for 5 hours without attempting to slow my contractions eventhough they decided to do a RCS 😢

And the end result ? I lost my beautiful boy . I feel so guilty for even choosing the hospital or even thinking I could do a VBAC . Is it normal to think that I owe to bring my boy back to me as soon as possible?
I can't find many details about people ttc after a Rupture. How long do we have to wait to TTC ?
I am going to meet with a high risk OB gyn after my 6 weeks visit .
But would like to hear some experiences.
June 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRecentloss
I'm so sorry for your loss.
June 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterR
This makes me so sad.

I'm sure you had good reason to believe that the VBAC would be safe, so please don't blame yourself. I was, in fact, a vbac baby with no problem at all in the 80s and my mom is a huge advocate of it. I always assumed that if it looked problematic they would do a c section before there was a major problem. How awful and sad.

I am so, so sorry.
June 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJM
I am so sorry for your devastating loss, Recentloss. I lost our baby girl also due to uterine rupture during a VBAC attempt. Because it is so rare, it can be hard to find support or answers. There is a uterine rupture support group on Facebook and also a secret group for pregnancy after uterine rupture that you can join once you join the main group. That can be helpful. I was told I need to wait a year before TTC again. I lost our girl seven months ago. (If you search for "uterine rupture" in groups on FB you should be able to find it.) That is the best community I have found for trying to deal with this terrible situation. It is a mixed group - not all members lost their babies, many babies survived but as you well know the experience itself is traumatizing. I am also happy to connect further in private. My heart is reaching out to yours. Sending love and strength.
July 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJane
I am so sorry for your loss. And I am sorry that it leaves you feeling so guilty! For various reasons, many/most/maybe all of us carry our own guilt about our experiences. It is horrible. Losing a baby is painful beyond words. Adding a thick layer of guilt on top of the sadness makes it even more torturous. Please know that I believe in my heart that you did nothing wrong. You did what any mother does. You made the decision that you thought was best, given the facts that you had.

Sorry that I don't have any answers about when it is safe to TTC after a uterine rupture. It sounds like Jane has some good tips, so I am glad she has offered you support.
July 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRuby's Mom
Hi! I don't speak english very well but I'll try to do my best.
I lost my beautiful baby boy at september 25th, this is my history...
2010 the doctors found I have incompetent cervix (19weeks) they did a emergency cerclage and my daughter born at 35weeks by C-Section
2013 I had preventive cerclage in june13 and in November13 I was induced (36weeks) and I had a succesful VBAC
2015 I had a not planned (but loved) pregnancy, I was very excited because I always wanted 3 kids, I had cerclage again and the pregnancy went perfect, this time they removed the cerclage at 36weeks and send me home to wait labor. At 37weeks I was 7cm dilated and no labor so they let me in the hospital to be induced, they gave me oxitocine and I was in labor for 15 minutes when I felt like I have a slash in my belly, I felt rare but the Dr touch the baby head and the baby's heart was ok, they moved me to another room (epidural) and I felt my water broke and I was so happy (besides the pain) because my baby was coming, when i was waiting for the epidural I had a rare pain in the shoulders, my Dr came and said that I was no ok and did a emergency C-S but it was to late my boy was in my abdominal cavity and the placenta detached, my beautiful and perfectly healthy baby was dead
I don't know how to live with this pain in my chest, my heart is so broken, i want my baby back, they told me I need to wait 2 Years and no garantees because of the high risk of an uterine rupture and a fourth cerclage
November 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBaby star