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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > Another subchorionic hematooma

I am currently 9wks pregnant with my rainbow. I have had 3 small red bleeds since I found out I am pregnant. One of these was today. I had an ultrasound scheduled for today, which was good timing because I was freaking out. A few weeks ago, when I first had bleeding, the ultrasound showed a hematoma. This healed up by the second ultrasound. Now, there is a new one. They keep telling met that a lot of healthy pregnancies have hematomas. They keep telling me that there is no reason to be concerned at this time. Baby measured 9w2d today and had a strong beautiful heartbeat.

But I am far from relaxed.

I had light red bleeding on and off during my pregnancy with Ruby. They told me not to worry about the hematomas with her too. Everything looked, "fine" until there was practically no amniotic fluid at the second trimester screen. They believe that the hematoma caused a partial placental abruption, which cause placental insufficiency, IUGR, and ultimately, Ruby's death at 22wks.

So hopefully my medical team will forgive me for crying everytime they perform an ultrasound and my little lion still has a heartbeat.

How am I supposed to believe that this pregnancy is going to end any differently when it is starting the same way?
May 4, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRuby's Mom
All I want to say is I am so damn sorry, that is shitty to have any complication, especially one related to why your baby died.
May 4, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret
Ruby's mom--I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. How stressful and as Margaret says, shitty. Thinking of you and hoping that this one clears up too.
May 4, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAB
Ruby's mom,

That is so stressful! Shitty is definitely the appropriate word!! Come here as much as you need. Sending you love and light! Today you are pregnant.
May 4, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDebra
ruby's mom,

who are you seeing for your care provider? an OB? a MFM doctor?

are you getting any supplemental treatment for anything or any issues?
baby aspirin? heparin therapy? 17p or any progesterone supplementation?

I had issues with SCHs and I completely feel your pain and anxiety- the bleeding is truly the worst thing ever to have to experience in a pregnancy, let alone a subsequent pregnancy after a loss. we always could "blame" the SCHs on the fact that we did IVF to get pregnant, which can have a (slightly) higher rate of implantation issues/problems, and for my last pregnancy, I was on blood thinners for the entire pregnancy, as well as 17p shots.

I am just wondering more about the care plan you have in place, and who you are seeing. this may already have been addressed with your current and past pregnancy, I really don't know. if not, it may be worth looking into. at the very least, with your history, I would push very hard for more frequent ultrasounds, like, weekly, for nothing else than for your own mental stability. I *lived* for those weekly u/s's, and the relief at seeing a h/b lasted a good day or two before I was wishing away the hours waiting for the next week's u/s. I bled, full on BRB-type bleeding thru week 26 with my son until the horrible SCH finally resolved. I think I aged 10 years during that time.

we chose to do modified home bedrest during that pregnancy... in bed most of the day at home, getting up to pee and do light duty stuff occasionally. they said there was no real stats that proved that bedrest made a difference in outcome, but we chose to err on the side of over-safety. I mean, the bleeding was just incredibly draining on me, I don't really know if I could have dealt with working I was so paranoid all day long.

and don't worry for one second about being stressed or crying at your appointments! you have every right to feel that way. I tried deep breathing techniques on my way into the appointments and did a lot of total denial. any thing that helps get you through.

the other thing i wanted to share is that just because you are having another SCH, it does not mean you are destined for the same thing that came to be in your previous pregnancy. this current SCH may be gone by your next appointment. or not, and it still is not indicative of being doomed for the same outcome. i know this is not much of a help, but it is something to remember... every day of a pregnancy is a gift, each day you have the ability to be in the moment with your growing baby- all anyone can ever do is hope for the best and share all of the love you have for this baby right now with that baby. i am so sorry you are having to deal with the SCH and bleeding... but it does not change anything in regard to your intention and love for bringing this baby as far as you can into your world.

i hope that you feel that you have great care and good communication with them in regard to doing as much as is possible to address the SCH and your stress. if you need more, ask for it.
May 5, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterss
Thank you all for your support. I agree. It is completely shitty.

SS, I have started to reply to you several times, but I am working a million and a half hours and every time I start to write back, someone walks in and I have to quickly exit out of the Glow so that nobody realizes I am getting emotional at work.

I am being seen in a reputable MFM clinic. I am not being given any medications to prevent clotting other than taking a baby aspirin (which really seems like a placebo). They tested me for antiphospholipid antibody syndrome after I lost Ruby. They said that this was the only clotting disorder that would have caused, "The cluster of symptoms resulting in the second trimester loss," so they didn't test me for anything else. The test was negative. So basically, there is no treatment. However, they did say that not having a diagnosis technically means that the odds are my favor. They said that I am more likely to lose a baby than the general population, but less likely than I would be if they had been able to identify a root cause.

I am being seen 2x/month right now. Weekly would be tremendous, but I am not sure how I would fit it into my schedule.

I am so sorry that you had so much bleeding in your pregnancy with your son. It is terrifying! I am thankful that my bleeding is so light and comes and goes. It was light and inconsistent with Ruby, so it doesn't necessarily mean we aren't going to have a repeat loss, but every time I see the blood I have a panic attack, so at least I am not freaking out on a daily basis. I am sorry that you went through that! I am so glad that you took care of yourself by doing modified bed rest during your pregnancy.

I am currently working 50 hours per week (plus a couple hours of work from home each week). I started a part-time job on top of my full-time job to earn extra money and to get back into providing therapy. The day I started was the day I found out I was pregnant. I am exhausted. The extra hours add up in general, but adding first trimester pregnancy symptoms...wow. I am pooped. And the exhaustion coupled with the stress doesn't make me the most relaxed pregnant woman, that is for sure.

Thank you for the reminder that the SCH doesn't necessarily mean that I am going to lose this baby! It is so hard to believe, given my experience and what I have witnessed with friends. I have to remind myself that I have known other women who had bleeding and had perfectly healthy pregnancies.

"Every day of a pregnancy is a gift. Each day you have the ability to be in teh moment with your growing baby." Thank you for that! I love it.
May 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRuby's Mom
Hi Ruby's mum, apparently hematoma's are very common. Most common thing to cause bleeding in the 2nd trimester. They apparently disappear by 16 weeks. So maybe it wasn't the cause of the placenta issue with your bubba.

I had no bleeding what so ever with my son's pregnancy but I'm 11w+5 days pregnant and around 6 to 8 weeks I had bit of spotting and 2 days ago I had a massive rush of blood poor down my legs. Frightened the hell out of me I ran to the shower, thinking it definitely was the start of a miscarriage. I got into 'early pregnancy unit the following morning and they confirmed I had a hematoma. My doctor said it's extremely common and nothing to worry about. Will eventually stop by 16 weeks as it will be flattened as room will run out for them to develop. I will probably get along gush of blood. Which I'll get checked but I seen baby on screen yesterday and bubba's heartbeat was good and moving around very active.

I want to keep you positive I know it's so hard but you have to remember it's a different pregnancy. I feel a little angry to have been frightened so much thinking I definitely was having a miscarriage. I was so upset and couldn't believe it was happening as I didn't need any more stress.

Your not alone. keep trying to be positive and take each day as it comes. x
June 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLauren
Thank you for the support, Lauren. There are two possible options for my complications with Ruby. 1) Subchorionic hematoma resulting in partial abruption, 2) clotting and bleeding throughout the umbilical cord. One or the other caused the placental insufficiency (or possibly both). What caused the bleeding, we don't know. But either way, the autopsy showed lots of clotting throughout the placenta :(

I am sorry that you had bleeding! It is so scary! I can understand why you would have feared it was a miscarriage, and I am so glad to hear that it wasn't!! I'm glad they are keeping an eye on you and your bubba :)
June 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRuby's Mom