Hi Ladies!

Thought I'd get the ball rolling for May and wish everyone who's TTC this month the best of luck and lots of fun ;)
I'll be ovulating around the middle of the month so have to wait till then.
xxx

Hi David's mum- thanks for starting this months thread. And hello to all the other ladies on a similar journey of ttc as myself and David's mum.

This is my second cycle of ttc since losing my gorgeous Eva. I used the clearblue digital ovulation tests this month to reassure myself that I am ovulating. Encouragingly my cycle seems to be working better than it was before I conceived Eva. A positive I am trying to hang on to- I find that going mental over ttc is even easier than before as I know how amazing it is to have a baby to look after is. In the run up to when I thought I should ovulate the tests confirmed a hormonal surge and yesterday I had a peak reading! Yippee! The first ever time an opk has worked for me! So this bank holiday has turned into a bonk holiday of ttc everyday- one more try tomorrow and I reckon I'll be into the dreaded two week wait. Even if it doesn't happen this month there are so many positives to remember, and a holiday at the time I will hopefully ovulate again!

Good luck to all of you this month- I wish I wasn't on this journey, but there isn't any going back now!

Eva's mum x

'a bonk holiday' !!!!! Oh Eva's mum I love that! Hilarious! Hope you're having fun!

I know know exactly what you mean about going mental over ttc - I literally lost my mind waiting to test last month - then I tested early, got a negative obviously but then HAD to retest every morning to double check till my period was due - literally could not sleep at night with nerves over testing in the morning. There's no way I can go through that again this month so I've downloaded some meditation apps for my phone to try and keep some sanity and no matter what kind of symptoms I have I am not testing till my period is due. We got pregnant with David first try last year so I hoped it would be that easy again but here's to month two... and some fun trying. x

Ha! Definitely trying to have fun- trying to remain as calm as possible about the whole process. I'm convinced that it will take a long time again- Eva was 12 cycles in the making but that was over 14 months due to cycle length. I know that I haven't been on contraception, that I am able to carry a baby without any issues and that I can give birth- I just want it to happen instantaneously. So basically the source of my mental moments is impatience!

Good luck with your ttc journey David's mum x

Hi ladies,

I just tested and it said am not pregnant so guess I'll be trying again this month too. Am really annoyed because I held off testing because I thought I might get good news but now I'm stuck in limbo, waiting for my period to arrive. I think I was due last Wednesday but am now not so sure because my recent miscarriage may have messed up my cycles. It's so frustrating!!

If my period hasn't arrived by Wednesday, I'll test again. Fingers crossed..

Hopefully we will all have a good month!

Shannon x

Hi ladies,

I'm also in the May ttc club. My husband and I have been trying for two months but so far nothing. I feel like I go a little crazy every month over analyzing every twitch and thinking I'm pregnant. I'm trying to relax but I'm so anxious. Hoping this will be our month. I'm ovulating in about a week and a half so here goes nothing!

Wishing all you ladies the best of luck!

Shannon- sorry to hear you didn't get lucky this month. But in the words of David's mum hope you can have some fun trying.

E- I go more mental each month and think that the only way I'm going to get through this month is by a lot of distraction. I wish we could all come up with a way in which not to go crazy but it seems it is natural; especially in light of our situations!!!

Today I had to go back to the hospital- into the gynaecology dept for a smear test. It was horrible as I was surrounded by pregnant women in the corridors. I wanted to shout at them that they don't know how lucky they are to be so innocent in their happiness. But then I reminded myself that I don't know their stories.

Everything is so different now- and so much harder.

Eva's mum x

How are you all getting on ladies? Hope you're having a good month so far. I'm 5 days away from period due. Going completely crazy. Have a sore throat which I remember having in early pregnancy with Eva... But think I might be reading into it too much. I hate the two week wait.

Thinking of you all and wishing you lots of luck

Eva's mum x

Hi Eva's mum,
Oh the two week wait is the worst. I hope these next five days go by fast for you and you get your positive!

I'm supposed to ovulate this weekend. I just really hope it "works" this month. This is my third month trying and I know in the grand scheme of things that's really not long at all but I got pregnant so quick last time and I was just hoping it would happen fast again for the sake of my sanity! I'm not a very patient person but I'm trying to change that.

Good luck to you! Keep us updated!

Hey ladies - working on it at the moment - due to ovulate later this week like you E so tick tock... I have no patience either and so expected it to just 'work' last month too like it did for us last time... I'll be so annoyed if it doesn't stick this month - ridiculous, I know but we all just deserve an instant 'pregnant' on that pee stick! None of this messing around!

I'm so impatient waiting the 'two weeks' - I was horrendous last month - didn't wait at all long enough to test and drove myself nuts with phantom symptoms! Hopefully Eva's mum your ones are real - fingers crossed for you.

Might have taken a test earlier- which was way too early and negative of course. My sore throat has developed into a runny nose/weepy eye cold that is making me feel very pathetic. Am now utterly convinced I am not pregnant this month. I wish we could all have a free pregnancy card like the get out of jail free card in monopoly. If only we could present it at the doctors and they could magically sort us out. I know it took 12 cycles last time. I'm not even through number two yet. All positivity seems to have left me this evening and I'm going to sleep thinking it can't possibly happen- even though I know I am Eva's mummy. X

My period was a week late last month so my cycle is all over the place this month, it only just finished so I should prob ovulate early next week. Was pretty gutted when it finally arrived as like the rest of you, I had been keeping a close eye on my symptoms and was convinced I was pregnant. The same thing happened to me earlier this year and my acupuncturist told me it was a chemical pregnancy which is so frustrating as it shows how close I came. Sometimes, I think it better not to know these things as it doesn't help the situation!

Eva's Mum - I totally know the feeling. I had a headache all last week, which I had before I got pregnant in Feb. Was so sure I was pregnant but kept doing tests and getting negative results. I wish we could get a free pregnancy card too, it's cruel to have to go through all this.

David's Mum & E - good luck this weekend, I'll be right behind you ladies when I ovulate next week. Hopefully we will get some good news soon!

I'm out. But my 2nd cycle has worked like clockwork which is a lot more positive than before. 😞

I'm sorry Eva's mum. You're amazing that you can see the positive - keep it up and keep trying.

I'm on my wait - ovulation was hard to pinpoint this month but think I'm 5 dpo. Test on sunday maybe - I normally have a 14 day luteal phase so we'll see. Ugh! The wait!

Good luck David's Mum! I have my fingers crossed for you. Hopefully you are not driving yourself too mental which is extremely easy to do as I know.

I have found that trying to find little positives is the only thing that is really keeping me going. I keep talking the ear off of my best friend trying to deem little positives. I know I can conceive, I have never had two cycles which are exactly the same length, I have never gotten a positive on a OPK before this month, I am not getting period pains anymore, I can drink on holiday next week... and I can continue to enjoy my husband for another month cause god knows I went off him for 9 months!!!

I challenge you to find some positives ladies cause it certainly helped me this month when my period arrived, even though I honestly wish I was pregnant, I know I can't control this journey. All I can do is my best and I certainly have done that this month. The rest is down to chance. My luck has got to change at some point- and I genuinely believe it will for all of you ladies.

I have my fingers crossed for everyone this month. Here is to the week long bonk holiday in Croatia.

Eva's Mum x

Eva's Mum, I just wanted to say I'm right with you on the positive attitude approach - when I got my period last month, I was gutted but then reminded myself that I had many things to be grateful for - my husband, my health, my family, my friends, the fact that I was in NYC on a work trip, the list goes on!

I also think it's important to try and stay positive in these situations as being stressed and unhappy is not how I think I will get pregnant. Am ovulating this week so continuing with the positive attitude in hopes it will help things.

Keep us posted David's Mum!

Ugh! I'm useless! Sooo impatient... tested this morning - 4 days before period - negative. I'll try again Wednesday but I've no symptoms at all so not looking good. Grrrrrrrr.

It's so hard waiting isn't it?! Don't give up hope just yet though, 4 days before you're due is so early. And if there's one thing I've learned in the last year is that symptoms are never accurate and can be so misleading sometimes.

I've just finished ovulating, so am hoping things happen this month. Going to try my best not to think about it too much over the next 2 weeks.

Let us know how you get on Wednesday!

Shannon is right- don't give up hope! I didn't have a clue I was pregnant with Eva. The only thing I noticed was a sore throat once I had a positive test. I have everything crossed for you... But for the purpose of anticipating disappointment maybe start making a list of positives now? I know you caught early last time round, and I honestly hoe that it doesn't take ages for any of us, but there is only a 25% success rate each month. So much is down to luck. If there was a way to fast track pregnancy then all of us would deserve it!

Do you ladies think of your babies every minute of every day? I eat, sleep and breath thoughts of my gorgeous baby girl...

Hi ladies,

Just back checking in with everyone on your progress.

Eva's mom-I'm sorry you're out this month. I really appreciate what you wrote about keeping a list of positives though. I try something very similar. Every day I think of at least one thing that I'm grateful for. Sometimes it's the littlest thing like the sun being out but other times it's much bigger things. I'm hoping next month will be your month!

Shannon-I like your positive attitude as well. Keep it up! Hoping these next two weeks fly by for you!!

David's mum-I'm pretty much right on track with you. And I too am not feeling any symptoms so I'm preparing that it may not have worked. Good luck to you! I hope these next few days go by quickly and you get your positive!

As for me, I have a very short luteal phase (only 9 days) so I'm not sure if it's even possible for me to get pregnant. Of course everything I read on the internet says you can't get pregnant with that short of a luteal phase and I think I'm driving my husband crazy! I made a promise not to google anything about it anymore!! I won't know until Thursday or Friday for sure but I'm going to try and stay positive like you ladies.

Also, Eva's mom-I do think of my sweet Derek every day. He's always on my mind. I have kept the door to the nursery closed for these past 8 months but now I have been able to open it up and that has helped me. Sometimes I sit in his room and just think of him. It brings me so much peace.

Good luck E! Lovely to hear from you too... I have often sat in Eva's room recently and cuddled into her little bear suit that she looked so cute in. I have so much love in my heart and it just bubbles over when I think of her and the life she should of had- but love I know she felt and that hopefully her brothers and sisters will feel in the future.

David's mum- I hope you're ok, and that my comment earlier didn't offend. Just wanted to know that preparing helped me this month when I tested too early. But really don't give up hope either.

Xxx

Thanks ladies - Eva's mum, no worries, I'm not easily offended ( I think most of us have developed thick skins...) - you're totally right - I do know the chances but I'm annoyingly optimistic and gullible so I'm convinced it 'worked' every time! Also, my brother just had his first baby last week and my best friend is 12 weeks pregnant so I really feel like I'm trying to play catch up...even though I know I technically cant...

Shannon I hope the next 2 weeks fly by for you and keep us posted!

E I'll be thinking of you all this week too if we're on the same time... fingers and toes crossed.

I think of David all the time, every day, there are so many reminders - and my parents, they're both deceased too - loss is a bitch.

Love to you ladies. xxx

So confused!
TMI alert.
So I've had 3 negative preg tests in the past three days - due my period tomorrow and have had bad cramps for the past 2 days with teenie weenie bit of brown spotting (I never get brown spotting, some pinkish maybe but not like this) - seems like implantation spotting but surely I'd have got a positive preg result by now... driving my poor husband crazy...

Hope the rest of you are getting on better than I am...

I have my fingers crossed for you David's mum! Can't say that I have ever had spotting before period so maybe it is a sign?! X

Oh David's Mum I know exactly how you feel! its such an exciting but frustrating time cause you just want to know right?! I've never had brown spotting either so who knows what it could mean. Either way, we are all rooting for you!

E, I can also relate to the Googling of everything, I did it so much last month I almost drove myself crazy nevermind my husband! I'm not due for another couple of weeks so just keeping busy as usual.

Hope you're well Eva's Mum.

I'm on holiday at the moment but feeling very emotional, missing home like crazy and feel so far away from Eva. I know she is always with me in my heart but I miss being at home with her little things there to touch and cuddle if I need to. It's my birthday tomorrow but don't feel excited about it at all- I don't want to get older I want to rewind so that Eva is still here. I long for a family so much. I wish this was not so hard. I'm not doing very well right now. I know that I will ovulate again next week but I'm not convinced I will ever have another baby. All I see are families everywhere I look and I am so jealous! Grrr. Moan over.

David's mum- I have everything crossed for you!
Shannon- I hope your wait goes quick!
E- any news?
Xxx

Phooey. Period arrived in all her glory this morning. Joy! But, trying to be positive, at least now I've had two months of consistent cycles (had uterine surgery in January and March) ovulating on day 15 and luteal phases of 14 days. That's something I guess and more than others have I know. Roll on June...

Eva's mum I completely get what you mean about not wanting to get older - I'm 35 later this year - officially geriatric in pregnancy terms! I have longed for children since I was very young, a family of my own but my husband and I waited to try until we got married in 2013, despite being together for 12 years... now I'd settle just for David... but I can't have him. All we can do is be positive and try to give David and Eva siblings to help us cherish their memories... and have fun while we're ovulating!

E I hope you have good news for us soon - thinking of you.

Shannon, I don't know what the brown spotting was about now... confusing... I hope the next couple of weeks fly past for you.

xxx

Hi ladies,

David's mum- I'm so sorry you didn't get your positive. I hope June will be your month!

Shannon-I'm thinking about you and hoping the next few days go by quickly for you!

Eva's mom-I hope your staying positive...I'm thinking about you too!

As for me, I am 3 days late with a faint faint positive. Trying to stay calm and relaxed but I'be got a whole mix of emotions right now

E- I have everything crossed for you that in the next few days everything goes your way. It would be lovely for one of us to have some good news. I will send every positive vibe I can your way.

Thinking of all of you ladies. X

Can't believe it's June already! Shall I start is a June thread? Hope you ladies are doing ok xxx

Oh yes start a June thread Eva's mum!

E I'm so happy for you - hope that faint line keeps getting stronger. Deep breaths. xxx

I'm not trying yet but I just wanted to share what I use to track ovulation. I used this when trying for my daughter and we got pregnant the first month. It's called fertile focus. Its a small microscope what shows estrogen peaks in saliva. No pee sticks and totally reusable, even if the bulb dies (mine just did) u can still hold the lens up to the bathroom light And read the results just fine. Only 30-50$ too, I spent $70 on the pee sticks and used both, results lined up perfectly so I won't be bothering with pee sticks this time. I just ordered it online, LOVE it I get excited to test every morning :)