Hi Ladies,

My husband and I lost our son (born full term and passed away shortly after) and I have been cleared by several doctors to try again since January. I was very eager to try again but my husband was not ready. Having something to look forward to helped me through the really dark early days of my grieving process and suddenly he said he is ready to try again in March. Now I have a mixture of pretty much every emotion but mostly I'm just anxious. I know this is going to be a difficult journey and I am certainly not naive this time around. Anyways, I'm not even sure what I'm looking for as I'm writing this post but I guess I'm just a little excited (dare I say excited??) to share the news with someone. I'm not ready to share the news with family/friends but you ladies have been so incredibly supportive so I wanted to come to my safe place.

I feel like I'm obsessing over trying again right now and I'm looking for ways to just let it go (why can't I write that without thinking of the song? Thanks a lot Frozen! haha) and stop thinking about it so much!!

Thank you for listening-wishing everyone on here the very best!

Hi E,
I also lost my full term boy a few days after birth. My husband and I are also considering trying for another baby in the coming months. I am wondering when your little boy died and if there was any known cause.
My little boy passed away at the end of July, from injuries sustained in utero. He was born at 37 wks via emergency c-section after I had noticed decreased fetal movement and we had non-reassuring stress tests. The doctor said "cord accident" as the suspected cause.
I want to have another child and I am scared and I'm not sure if I'm ready or if I'll ever feel ready.
Em

Hi Em,

My baby boy passed away almost 6 months ago. There was no sign anything was wrong up until the last second. I was sent for a growth ultrasound and they discovered he was breech so they sent me to the hospital for a routine c-section. But once we got there and they put the monitors on and something was wrong so I was rushed for an emergency c-section.

We met with several doctors just about a month ago (it took 5 months for us to get the results from the autopsy because it was such a rare case). We were told it was the "perfect storm" of events that happened. The umbilical cord was really short, my placenta was breaking down and my baby ultimately aspirated fluid. He lived for less than an hour-I never was able to see him alive because I was knocked out for the surgery.

I hear you about being scared. Honestly, I'm petrified. But I want to try again and I feel physically ready. I don't know how it will be if/when I actually become pregnant again but I won't let my experience with my baby boy bring constant sadness. That wasn't his purpose. I enjoyed being pregnant and had such a connection with my son. I think about him every single day and I will never forget him.

Also, I don't know all the details of what happened with you but I met with a geneticist and he told me that the chance of having another issue with the cord and placenta would be minimal. Not sure if that helps put your mind at ease a bit but it helped me.
~E

Hi E,

I'm 5.5 months out from my stillbirth - so we're on similar timelines. Our boy died in September. We're also ready to start trying to conceive again in March - I can't wait to have a living baby in my arms and I totally get your obsessing over getting pregnant - it's all that has kept me going the past few months... waiting for the 'all clear' from my doc - I had to have surgery to correct my uterus in January (had a septate uterus, caused my placenta not to function properly like you and that's what caused my stillbirth at 32 weeks).

We have to have a follow up with my doc in 2 weeks and I'm so frustrated because its the same day that I'm due to ovulate so I'll probably miss my March window - see... obsessed! I don't even want to miss a month of trying. And I'm so excited about trying too - I get my hopes up really easily so I know if it doesn't happen for us quickly I'll get despondent - but we got pregnant first time round last time so hopefully... My sister and best friend know when we'll ttc - they've been so supportive - but we won't be telling anyone else - honestly, know one will even be told I'm pregnant until I'm physically way beyond obvious!

So exciting and so terrifying.

Hello all thinking about TTC!

Thanks E, my doctor also thought another problem with the cord is unlikely but the more I hear that sort of message the better for my peace of mind.

My husband and I won't start ttc again until May or June because of my work schedule but I want to do everything I can to prepare myself for when we are ready. And then I think I'll never really be ready but just have to close my eyes and jump. It sucks sometimes that there are no guarantees in life and the loss of my son has been so hard for me. . . . . .I never want to suffer another loss as great as this one.

Hi ladies,

I am right there with you. I also lost my baby girl in September. She was born full term (39+ weeks) but there will complications during labor resulting in an emergency c-section. Olive lived for a week so I am very lucky I got to spend so much time with her.

I was also ready to start trying again before my husband was there. So I gave him a few months before I broached the topic again. We had decided March (6 months out). My body feels physically ready and emotionally I don't think I will ever be completely ready. I was getting anxious and we (husband and I) were finally on the same page so last month we didn't prevent. I was convinced that it wouldn't just happen easily so I wanted to get started - so to our surprise it happened right away and I am newly pregnant (like 5 weeks). It is so early and I am taking it day by day but of course already anxious and fearful.

I know I'm lucky that it happened so quickly, maybe too quickly? Now I am nervous that it is too soon and my doctors will be upset, etc. I am trying to take the outlook that it is meant to be - maybe this is my rainbow baby? Thank you for letting me vent. I am not comfortable talking to anybody about all these either and am hoping to wait to even tell anyone outside my inner circle until I absolutely have to. Thoughts?

Hi Lindsey,

I'm happy to hear you were able to get pregnant so quick. A gently congratulations to you. I hope you are doing well. I don't think your doctors will/should be mad at you. I've heard of some women getting pregnant 3 months out. I'm wishing you an easy pregnancy. And I hope to be joining you soon! Please keep me posted on how you're doing.

Sending good vibes your way
~E