Please talk me off the ledge. 5 1/2 years ago I lost my daughter because of a cord injury at 38.5 weeks. I noticed less movement, went to the hospital, they c-sectioned her and she died 7 days later because she had brain damage caused by a suspected cord injury.

My cousin is pregnant with her first baby and she's currently 40wks3days and there is no sign of her going into labor. She went for a checkup today and everything is good, fluid is good, baby seems happy...so they'll see her in 4 more days, then consider induction at 40wks3days. I'M LOSING MY MIND FROM ANXIETY RIGHT NOW! My cousin feels fine, my aunt feels fine, my mom (who is a Certified Nurse Midwife) feels fine...everything is going to be fine. I haven't told my cousin that I'm freaking out, but I'm so scared something bad will happen.

Please tell me everything is going to be fine and that going post-dates isn't an automatic death sentence for the baby. Thanks, friends :-)

Hi Rebecca. I always get nervous when I hear that someone's pregnancy has gone past 40 weeks. I think that's natural. The longer someone goes, the most risks we can conjure up in our heads. However, going past 40 weeks is very very normal and quite common. Most midwives won't even induce until at least 41 until there is a medical reason to. Some will wait until 42. Often, women after 41 weeks are monitored with non-stress tests or other things to gauge how the placenta is doing, but not always.

I will say this.. I cannot promise you that everything will be fine, but I CAN promise you that going past 40 weeks is NOT an automatic death sentence for baby. In fact, some would tell you its good for baby to cook a little longer. DEEP breaths!

Thank you, Carrie. I know you're right. My brain knows you're right but it hasn't kept me from losing my mind. BTW I actually meant they are going to induce at 41w3days, which I know is still okay and very normal, but it scares the bejeezus out of me. I SO appreciate your words of encouragement and I will take deep breaths now.

My first son went to 42 and a half weeks before I went into labor (I didn't want to be induced). He is now 3 and has always been a strong, healthy, child. (Someone told me Einstein also went to 42 weeks but I don't know if that's true.) My second son died due to injuries sustained from a cord injury. At 37 wks we had an emergency C and he lived 3 days connected to machines. Fuck, that really sucks. But I don't think a long pregnancy is necessarily a cause for concern.

It is completely normal to go beyond your due date. I am 39+2 today and we are thinking about what to do if she does not come in the next week. We are not big fans of induction (all the people I know IRL who have had one ended up with a C-section). They also don't know what triggers labor, but one theory is that it is a signal from the baby to the mother that they are ready. As much as I would like my little girl to get here sooner, I will likely end up with a plan like your cousins if she does not, wait until 41 weeks and then induce. I know that after 42 weeks the placenta stops working as well and the risks of not inducing start to climb. With our histories it is so scary to think that the baby would be perfectly safe on the outside why wait? But it is a really personal decision about how much intervention you want to have, even with Grace (who died at 32 weeks from a cord accident) we had as natural a child birth as possible (no pain medications only drugs to soften my cervix and minimal pitocin). With my first rainbow her water broke and I was not progressing fast enough (they only give you 12 hours after the water breaks to deliver without freaking out about infection) so they started pitocin (again no pain medications).

As Carrie said I cannot promise that everything will be okay with your cousin, but chances are it will and maybe this little one will make an appearance soon all on their own.

I would be beyond stressed. Thinking of you and your cousin!

Nobody can give any guarantees and I'm so sorry you are so understandably stressed. As long as she is having monitoring there really is no immediate reason to think anything bad will happen.

I had my first daughter at 42 + 2 (!!) Obviously this happened before I had lost a baby and lived in a world of babies never dying. Everything was fine, I had care from a birth centre team where pregnancy full term is considered anywhere from 37-42 weeks. I was monitored every second day after 7 days over and had a straight forward birth and healthy baby after being induced.

With my rainbow boy I went into labour naturally at 41+ 5 and although there were a few issues during the birth, these were not to do with going the 12 days over but because of his size, and everything was fine.

It's so easy to see why you're stressed but medically there is no reason to induce before 10 days over if everything is ok. Inducing early can come with a whole range of problems on it's own.

Thinking of you and hoping your cousin has a wonderful birth experience.

Thanks to all of you for your support. She's now 41wks1day and will be induced on Monday (41wks3days). She is totally unconcerned and so I have given my support and remind her by text to make sure to do her kick counts. I will be happy once she is here and safe :)