Good bye, Feb, hello March!

And apparently, for me, goodbye hope of a normal cycle. I'm now on day 4 of heavy spotting/light (brown/pink) bleeding - finally heavy enough to warrant pulling my diva cup back out. Definitely into light bleeding territory. There is some thought of a very weak ovulation around cd 15 - this would be on par for that, but there, then I think I'm getting hopes up. The fertile fluid was scant - but there - though after that first day, it could have been leftover semen. Have always had difficulty discerning that, and then the spotting. . . who the fuck knows?

If things will simply sort themselves, I'd feel better. It's hard to know what is stress-related, what is weight-related, what might be indicators of something like PCOS (which was ruled out previously, but wouldn't be surprising given my weight) or thyroid problems (never in the past, but again, who knows) or fertility issues (chicken/egg, whatever).

I don't mind ttc again - now is the time to start, because I've promised not to conceive during a time that would lead to a July through September birth - aren't I cute and optimistic? - because of the insanity that would cause at work. There is a chance for promotion and while they can't legally discriminate against me for being a married woman with a chance for conception, why give them reason to think they can't rely on me while they subconsciously consider this option? Besides, I don't want to be out then anyway.

Still - I'm worried about things. And it's hard not to worry that something greater than stress or weight is at play. Because really - that leads to questions I don't want to face, let alone answer. Questions like - how much fertility testing do we pursue? How much treatment, when we know pregnancy is high-risk and scary and no guarantee? At what point is it better to simply have my husband snipped (because other than condoms, there is not a single reliable method of birth control that I am eligible to use)?

Bah.

Still, if this be a new cycle - welcome aboard. Hopefully March is better to me than February was. . .

Eliza, I hope your body figures out what it's doing soon. If only there was someway to get answers. I know exactly what my cycle is doing yet still can't make things happen.

I am in the 2ww and I am pretty sure that a lack of progesterone is not my problem as I have "pregnancy-like" symptoms (nausea, tiredness, indigestion) every cycle and this time I am determined to not get my hopes up. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to get the results of the blood-work done on the last cycle as well as the results from my husband's SA. Based on the experiences of the last 11 months (and tomorrow is exactly 11 months too) I am expecting the doctor to say that all our results are perfectly normal and that we will have to just "keep at it" until 12 cycles are up and we can get a referral to the fertility specialist. Ugh.

Maybe someone else has some better news?

Can I sneak my way into this ttc group?

No need to sneak in Missy.

I got my results and everything for me is normal, FSH is good and progesterone is nice and high so they are sure I'm ovulating. My husband has borderline low morphology but produces plenty of swimmers overall so there at still lots of good ones available. So now we just keep trying until 12 months are up, then we wait for a referral to another gyne to start more tests. Woo hoo.

It's 6 dpo for me and I have absolutely no pee sticks in the house. I don't plan to bother buying any unless I get past 16 dpo because even though I get -ves, I still hold out hope until AF arrives anyways so I might as well save my money.

How did the 'relatively normal' results make you feel Cara?

I never know where my posts go on glow :(

Well the other comment stayed put so I'll give it a go. AF is making her arrival as I type and during my last dr's visit she said if we did not conceive on our own by March or April to come back. I'm torn: part of me wants to rush in and beg for everything under the sun and the other part wants to keep trying naturally for a little while longer. Each bfn is crushing, but I'm terrified of all the things I have read about Clomid and other fertility enhancing drugs. Plus she could always tell us we have to try for a year and then I wasted $40. Will they do an HSG by request? My fella is not being helpful at all in the decision making.

Welcome, Missy, though I'm sorry for the arrival of your period. I think it's really tricky trying to figure out how to approach interventions. My doctor is offering clomid but my instinct right now is to hang out, do acupuncture, try to be as healthy and happy as possible, and see what happens. I feel pretty sure that my problems conceiving are circumstantial (we've been trying since September, after losing our daughter at 36 weeks in June), by which I mean, it wasn't so long ago that my body gave birth, to a full-term baby. The fact that it's taking a while for my body to re-set and my hormones to become stable again isn't really so strange -- our bodies aren't really designed to have babies back-to-back. Obviously some women are able to conceive again relatively quickly, but that doesn't mean it's the norm, or that those of us who aren't able to do so have been "broken" by our losses. (My first two pregnancies happened within a few months of trying, so that feels like my personal baseline, obviously this third time around is way, way different). So, with all of that said, I feel good about taking the natural, "laid-back" (ha ha) route, and allowing my body to get back on track in its own time. But really, I don't KNOW what's going on, and my fear is that I might be ignoring an issue that will become worse or that requires treatment to right itself. It's all so mysterious. So I'm taking it one month at a time, and reserving the right to change my mind and jump for the drugs if this stops feeling right. I wish you luck figuring out where you stand on all of this - it's a difficult issue.

I think I already posted (last week?) that I'm sitting on the sidelines this month. My husband is traveling for a week, right when I think I should be ovulating. I actually signed up for gum surgery next Wednesday, and plan on taking the drugs offered (contraindicated for early pregnancy, so I'll use protection just to be sure). We got an 11 week old bloodhound puppy last week, so she's providing some much-needed distraction (and love).

Love and luck to all.

Hello all. I hope for everyone that BFP's come soon. I am starting my medications for IVF yesterday. My ultrasound was not that great but we are going ahead anyway. They have doubled my doses so medications will cost a lot more than we thought. That kind of sucks, but our ultrasound on tuesday will tell us if we are wasting our time (and drugs). This whole trying to concieve thing is such a crap shoot. Wouldn't it be nice if it were just easy?
I took for granted with my first 2 that I could just get pregnant when I wanted. Not anymore. I hope for all of us that march is a good month. Peace to all.

Thank you M for that. I had my son at term in July and I know that some doctors recommend waiting at least a year after a full term birth. My doctors said to wait 3 and 6 respectively so I think in my head it should be automatic or something. Maybe I am wishing that it was.

Good luck to you K!

Hello all. I just had my ultarsound and I only have 3 follicles after 4 days of stimulating medications. That is very bad normal is 20. I assume that my cycle will be cancelled. So a bunch of shots down the toilet. My hope is also down the toilet too. Not our time i guess. Still sucks. As you all know too well.

Aaargh. Kara, I'm so sorry.

Thanks M. I just talked to my nurse and she said not to give up hope yet. I will have another ultrasound on thursday to see if there are anymore coming. If not, I will want to cancel so I don't use up any more meds for nothing. I guess we will see. Good things come to those who wait. Right?

Kara - I know how hard it is to take a decision now. I just want to let you know that a friend of mine with super high FSH and a husband with low sperm count got only three follicles, two got fertilized, and one became a beautiful baby boy. Don't lose hope. I have my fingers crossed for you.