We all get it - what advice have you been giving regarding getting pregnant again or managing your fears in your current pregnancy? Where does the advice come from, and how does it make you feel? Have you gotten any funny/ridiculous pieces of advice? Anything that made you angry? Any that has really helped you out? Do you think there is a good way to give advice in our situations? Do you ever ask for advice?

My dad keeps saying, "Don't go lifting anything heavy." It pisses me off. He seems to have decided (based on nothing other than seeing me tuck the edge of a rug under a chair) that I killed my first baby that way, and that I need reminding to be a good mother while pregnant with this one.

It's the sort of advice that appears to be offered in love and concern, so I can't really be nasty and call him on it. But it makes me white-hot angry sometimes. He's not willing to ask me anything in-depth about my life, but he has these ridiculous doubts about my ability to run it, nonetheless.

Ohh don't you just hate stuff like that! I got told this morning "would you PLEASE start eating properly".. like I've not been! ...despite the fact that most thing I eat are cooked by me from scratch with loads of veggies, I eat loads of fruit and very little rubbish...a much better diet in fact than my mother in law who said this grr! I know she is only trying to show concern but I can't help but be annoyed!

Oh, man, does some "advice" make me angry! One friend gave me the advice to "speak up for myself" this time if the hospital doesn't act on my concerns right away. As if we didn't do everything we thought we could do when I went into premature labor last time. As if we thought we had a choice when the hospital put me in the hall in a wheelchair for hours and didn't give me anything to stop the labor when I was already dilated and contracting because "there were no open beds or available doctors or nurses" in labor and delivery. We didn't know how long I'd sit there or that it would lead losing the twins. That experience reminds me of the woman who was on the news because she called 911 from the emergency room because they weren't doing anything at that hospital. I think she died, just like our twins. Sure, this time, if the hospital doesn't act if something goes wrong, my new hubby will raise hell and/or we'll go to a different hospital. But only because of what happened before.
I guess people think they are being helpful--as if you haven't already covered all possible scenarios in your own mind. I used to just accept those people's comments; now, though, I think they are being presumptuous because most of the time the person giving the advice has never had problems getting pregnant or staying pregnant. As far as I'm concerned, the only people who were allowed to give me advice for getting pregnant were those who'd had trouble themselves. And only people who've had losses are allowed to give me pregnancy advice. Well, those people and a few health professionals who have a lot of experience with potentially high risk pregnancies (and are sympathetic). I'm lucky now to have a couple of friends who are MDs who will do anything to help me if I need it.

I agree with Shellie, I will only take advice from people that have been in my situation. I get a lot of "relax and it will happen" kind of advice for TTC. I hate it. It is the most stupid advice ever. It makes me feel it is all my fault because I can't control my nerves. None of the people that say it to me have suffered secondary infertility after a full term loss.