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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

ttc | pregnancy | birth after loss > Loss #3

Went to check for a heartbeat yesterday. No growth. No heartbeat. No bloodflow. 3 IVFs. 3 Positives. 1 baby dies right in front of me. 2 early miscarriages. I just can't take any more. Why? I am crushed, shattered, defeated, hopeless, angry, and confused. I am having a D&C Thursday. I miss Anna so much. If she was here, this wouldn't have happened.
October 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine
Of course, "I'm sorry" is such a hollow thing when your heart is shattered. But I am so very, very sorry that you have to endure so much more pain is all I know to say. My heart is heavy for you and your family. Many prayers to you. Eve
October 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEve
Oh Christine. Oh no. It's not fair.

I'm so, so sorry.
October 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterB
I am so sorry :( I wish there was more to say, or anything to say that would help :(
October 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMerry
Christine,
I'm deeply sorry that you are having to go through another loss. I wish there were more I could say or do to help make it better for you, and although there isn't, please know that my thoughts & prayers are with you and yours.
Hugs,
P
October 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterP
I'm so sorry Christine. I know how you feel, and it sucks.
October 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeely
I'm so sorry Christine. None of this is fair.
October 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDiana
I am so sorry.
October 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie
Shit. I am so, so sorry.
October 5, 2010 | Unregistered Commentereliza
I am so sorry Christine. My heart breaks for you and I wish it wasn't so. I wish that you could have your beautiful Anna back and that you didn't have to go through any of this. You and your family are in my thoughts. xo
October 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine W
Christine, that is just awful, fucking awful. Wish there was something we could do to help.
October 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCara
Oh, Christine. I hate to hear your news. I want to scream at the unfairness of the world, but I know it won't help. I am so very sorry. Big hugs.
October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFrancisca
I'm so sorry. It's unfair and it's awful.
October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaddie
Thinking of you.
October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterS
Oh man that sucks :( I'm so sorry
October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFrustrated Fairy
I'm so sorry, Christine. Sometimes there is no justice in the world.
October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSteph
I'm just so sorry, Christine. Sending much love to you.
October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonique