My husband and I lost our twin baby boys on August 4th, 2010. We are beyond devastated. I was only 5 months along when this happened and we did not expect it at all. My heart aches every day all day for them.

I am an IVF patient with many issues and not a lot of time to concieve. We have to keep going and try again soon. I am okay with it and understand why. But I feel guilty for wanting to try again, doing it so soon, worried about our baby boys, not wanting to forget them, scared to the core, and so on.

I just truly need some support and understanding. I love them and miss them everyday, but we really would love to be parents to a child here on earth and if that is to happen we must push on.

Most people in my life just don't understand and think that is selfish and that really hurts. I wish things were different, but they are not. I did not ask for any of this. And I am just trying to do the best I can.

I am so sorry for your loss there is no greater pain then lossing your child.
I want to try again next yr. and have similar feelings to what you explain. I also feel like I am betraying our little girl by wanting to have another baby. We already have to boys, and I just feel the necessity to have a baby in our house again, since our girl is not here. I am also worried about what they will think so say if I get pregnant again...but deep down inside I know that what they think doesn't matter. I also have to understand that our girl has her place in our family and we love her even though she is not here. I say give yourselves another try at being parents, place all your faith and trust in God that all will be well. Good luck to you and your husband.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know if it was me I would continue to try. You were not given the desire to be parents for no reason. If you want to try again it will be a blessing to be able to pour your love into a little one. or two.... Your boys will never be replaced but they would understand you wanting to have a little one to love and spoil. I think family and friends are concerned just because of the pain they can't fix. I know with us we are going to loose one of our children at or before birth due to a birth defect and everyone thinks we should be done but we may consider another pregnancy because we didn't want just one kiddo. Good luck to you and I back you guys on your choice and I am sure your family and friends will come around once you get pregnant again.

I am so sorry to for your loss, I lost my little girl on Aug 1 2010 at 27 weeks. The Drs. could give me no reason for her death other than it was an aberration. I also want to try to conceive again as soon as possible. Some days it is all I can think of when my mind is given a chance to wander. I am just tuning out anyone who claims there is a formula to waiting. I just feel very deeply that this is what I want.

Don't feel guilty, you know youself better than anyone, other people are probably just very worried for you but are not expressing it well. I wish you the very best luck

I am so sorry about your boys. Sending much love as you grieve your boys and try again. Try not to worry too much about the "other people" - they don't have a clue. xo

I'm also so very sorry for the loss of your precious boys. I am also an IVFer and conceived twins with our first IVF last Aug. I lost my twin son at almost 7 months and was able to carry my twin daughter to 37 weeks. I can't imagine going though the pain of a difficult pregnancy and IVF again, so I admire your bravery and of course understand your deep desire to have a living child.

As someone who had to deal with the birth and death of a child all at once, I can reinforce for you what you already know: one child(ren) does not replace another. The love you have for you boys will not be betrayed by new love for children-to-be. Your heart has enough room for both.

I agree that some people want to protect you from heartbreak again, since IVF is so fraught with emotions and letdowns. But to consider it 'selfish' to want to have living children? That's idiotic. Of course you want living children. Doesn't everyone?

Many hugs and well wishes from someone who has not quite been in your shoes, but close enough to imagine how much you are hurting.

Eve

Am so sorry for your loss and quite understand. It is so painful and I think the only way for some people is to just to focus forwards. I don't think I will be able to fully comprehend my loss until I have another child - I'm just hoping it happens.

I am so so sorry about your boys and I do not think you are selfish at all. I lost my son at 20 weeks in June, and all I could think about afterward was getting pregnant again. Does wanting another child mean that I or you will miss the children we lost less? No way. And anyone who thinks it will is dumb.

Good luck and again, I'm so sorry for your loss xo