I know sometimes people will wear or do things in memory of a lost child. Tattoos, jewelry, etc.

My husband is planning on getting a tattoo in honor of our son, and I am strongly considering it at some point.

I have been tasked with helping design the art for his tattoo. (Something I am capable of, a long time ago I was a graphic designer mostly with logo and single color print/screen work, but not anything I've done in near on 10 years.)
One design he liked the idea of is an ambigram of Caleb's name -- an ambigram is a stylized word, sometimes phrase done in such a way that it reads the same rightways and upside-down.

I would love to see or hear about the sort of things people have done to honor their own lost children.

I have a tattoo of Sam's footprints and a banner of his name on my left shoulder. I do love it but - I got it just a few months after he died and didn't think about the consequences. People comment or ask me about it, often assuming that he is alive. I guess I didn't think that I am essentially inviting people to come talk to me about it and sometimes, I'm not always in the mood to explain myself. I am also incapable of letting people assume he's alive - I have to correct them (this is my own fault, I know) so then I'm in a dialogue that I don't always want to be in and left open to platitudes, awkwardness, etc. If I had to do it over again, I'd probably have gotten it in a less visible place.

My husband and I got matching tattoos of our baby's footprint that was given to us at the hospital...I place R.I.P on the bottom of the foot and around it I have ver small stars and clouds that surround the foot. If you like to see the pic. please feel free to email me and I can send it over. I fel a strong need to have her always in my life, as part of us as much possible and the art on my shoulder looks great. She is forever with us...!!!

I talk about getting a tattoo, but something always keeps me from going in, family, fear of what people would think, the thrombophilia - something. I know what I would get. A tree of life in blue (I know you can't actually use woad anymore) somewhere that it would usually be hidden.

The footprints are an interesting idea, and I might run it by my husband and consider it myself. I've seen others do the same thing. For a 35 weeker, my kiddo had some pretty big feet, though!

Monique, you have an interesting point. I think I am mostly of the mind that I want something that *I* know represents him, but isn't necesarily obviously *~lookit it's a baby tattoo*~ or something clearly memorial in nature. Like, I'd probably want to come up with a design or something that has meaning to me, but something that allows me to not be all "So let's talk about dead babies!" if someone asks me .

Others have suggested that I incorporate some sort of heart design into it, and I'm not sold on the idea. I don't know that I need or want to make his heart defects the thing that defines him in my tattoo, nor am I big into hearts in basic aesthetics.

Thoughts like these are why my husband likes the ambigram idea, done well it can be highly stylized and look like a design and not necessarily a name; he doesn't really like talking about it, so some measure of ambiguity I think will be important to him too.

Our Camila had preety big feet herself for 34 weeks! I must say that I get a lot of compliments on our art work...my artist works out of Los Angeles if you interested or are near by.

I totally planned on it - I have other tattoos, so that was fine by me. Had planned to do it on his birthday and then backed out.

I just don't know what I want, honestly. I was going to do his footprints, but . . . it doesn't feel right any longer. I'm playing with an idea of a sun on my outer ankle (left leg) - I have a moon on the inner left ankle. Which is actually something I've thought about for a long time before Gabriel, but . . . I don't know. There is a song that talks about hidden suns, a sort of metaphor for souls, and there is a lot about light and darkness . . . I think I just want a symbol more than something actual.

I'm super scared of needles so no tattoos for me, although I can see the appeal of a truly physical, unchanging memorial on my body. A group of my friends bought me a beautiful bracelet that has a heart with some little feet on one side and our son's birthdate on the other, and I have worn it everyday since I recieved it. It's only jewelry but it makes me feel like he is with me.

I was thinking of getting a morning glory done somewhere. When I began reading on mourning and death rituals after we got home from the hospital, there was a persistent theme with the use of morning glories on the headstones of babies and young children throughout modern history. The symbolism works for me (as my other tats are symbolic) and it would allow for me to go into detail as much as I wanted at the moment if I were asked about it.

Besides, Foster had HUGE feet - he was enormous - and I'm not sure it's something I was so literally engraved in my skin. He's a part of my soul, I personally don't need one of the few impressions I do have of him on my skin. Life will move on and I don't think I'll always want to be reminded so acutely of this stage of my life. I think it needs softening through the symbolic image.

I'm way to needle phobic to have a tattoo but if I wasn't, I might have something done on the inside of my left arm - I read a book recently where that was done as a memoriam; so that it was always close to your heart. I quite liked it.

Turtles were Hudson's "spirit animal"-- when we got our first ultrasound at 6 weeks, the doc saw a sac but couldn't see the baby and suggested we might have blighted ovum. We were devastated. But we went back a week later and saw her heartbeat. So we named her "the Turtle" when I was pregnant with her, and after she was born, we bought her all manner of turtle gear as she grew. Every month for the first year on her month birthday, we took took pictures of her beside a giant stuffed turtle so we could see how big she was getting. After she died, I found a ring with two hieroglyphic sea turtles, a mama and baby, inlaid with blue opal. The baby is swimming toward my heart. I never take it off.

And although I never in a million years dreamed I'd ever get a tattoo, I've already got solid plans to get a similar small sea turtle tattoo on the inside of my right wrist (just being postponed right now as we are TTC). I wanted it in a relatively conspicuous place, but one where I could still look at it anytime I want. Another friend also suggested that once I have the tattoo, our future children (if we are so lucky) could say goodnight to Hudson every night by giving it a kiss. At first, this idea seemed a little nutty to me, but it's actually growing on me.

A friend also sent me a necklace with a pewter pendant with Hudson's name stamped on it, which I also wear every day. When (hopefully) we have more children, I will buy pendants with their names to wear on it as well.

I got a tattoo of The Bluebird of Happiness flying away with a little piece of my heart:
http://ddbecca.blogspot.com/2010/03/new-ink.html

My husband got Addison's footprints (she was 38.5 weeks so they're not tiny, but neither is his arm). The picture is the day he got it, so it's very dark; they have since faded into very realistic-looking ink footprints. I love his tattoo because....it sounds weird, but it's almost like she was there and left those footprints there. It seems like the closest thing to her left on this earth. http://ddbecca.blogspot.com/2010/03/daddys-tattoo.html

My mom & sister also got me a locket that holds her picture; I wear it daily.

These are all such beautiful reminders. Thank you for sharing.

I bought my dh a dog tag for fathers day which has the names of all 5 children on it - I felt that this would be the only year I could really - he wears it all the time and I love him for doing that. He's an unemotional type really, so it means a lot that he does.

I'm going to get something similar sometime.

Actually, my most precious thing is something a friend gave me; she had bought Freddie and Amber teething necklace to match the one her little boy wears and then carried it around with her afterwards, not knowing what to do with it. She made it into a bracelet for me, on memory wire and it makes me very close to Freddie, even though he never wore it. It reminds me of how he should have been, and how small and precious he was.

I also got a tattoo. I thought about a tattoo soon after my loss, but it took me more than a year to actually do it. I chose a snowflake: a unique, beautiful and ephemeral thing. Also, it was snowing the day he was born. When I told my husband he immediately said he wanted to do the same. So we did. I have it on my back and he has it on his arm. Funny thing is that I always wanted to have a tattoo, but had never found the motivation to actually do it before. I am glad I waited.

The snowflake is a neat idea, I may consider that, if you don't mind. Caleb was also born in a snowstorm.

Sure! I don't mind sharing the symbol. My tattoo was custom made, so I don't think we would end up with the same design.

Rebecca- I saw your pics very nice and what a beautiful children you have! I also have my daughter's foot print on my left shoulder, and my husband on his chest right by his heart. I don't think we can upload images here:-(

I don't know if I could get a tatoo because it isn't really me but the more I think about our Riley the more I consider it. I want to have something I dont' know what it will be. We thougth about getting our wedding bands tatoo'ed on because Jeff is allergic to silver and gold. We instead got titanium I may get something like a ring that just represents the love we have for both of our girls even when Riley will pass away. I found some beautiful rings and things that can be personalized. Our Riley we know will never be forgotten but we are making efforts to keep her memory alive. We are having an art piece done that will incorporate her ashes also so that Abby will be able to see the beauty in the glass art. We are using butterflies in our designs since I am native american indian and it was wonderful part of their beliefs.

Thank you, Paulina. I do love the footprint. One day I might do it myself. Are you in L.A., by the way? I lived the first 32 years of my life in SoCal.

I'm from LA...from Watts but i live in san Jose CA for now...

I got a tattoo of my hospital bracelet. Not all of it just the heart and some holes. I got a j in the middle of the heart. I couldn't bear to take it off when my daughter died so now I never have to. It has been 4 months since she she was born and my husband and I got our braclets. He still hasn't taken his off yet. I am going to suggest a tattoo. It really helps me to feel she is always with me, always. I think it will help him too.

I am seriously considering a tattoo. Long story, but we lost our little one and my Dad within 3 days of each other. I am thinking of a couple of ideas - a tiny footprint inside of a larger one - since I feel that they walk together, wherever they are. The other thought is 2 swallows in flight (from what I have read, in ancient Egypt, the swallow was associated with the 'imperishable' stars and the souls of the dead. It was also a totem bird for sorrowing mothers who had lost a child). I can't quite decide but I know that either idea is a fitting tribute. Thank you also for the snowflake tattoo idea - I like the idea of something that symbolizes the uniqueness of both lives...