My sister phoned me in the early hours of this morning to tell me she had had her baby. After 6 girls between us, we both then had sons. She has hers today, a boy who should have grown up with Freddie - but who will grow up without him.

When i got up to go to the loo, my period had come. Again.

I feel like I am being punished. I just don't know how to keep going.

Hugs Merry. I'm sorry today is rough. I have no advice other than to pamper and be kind to yourself.

My neice is 3 months older than Foster would have been. Every family gathering with my ILs and my BIL's family is a little dagger for K & I - Foster should be at those family events too, being doted on by his loving grandparents. It will suck forever but I suppose we'll just get used to it.

I´m so sorry about your baby boy. Five of my friends had due dates within weeks of me and now all have little 6 and 8 week old babies in their arms. It´s hard for me to see the pictures and to share in their joy, but I try my best. I think we´ll always have certain milestones in our heads for the babies we lost. I wonder if my little baby would be smiling, cooing, starting to roll over? I´ll always think that they would be a certain age now or that if they were here I´d be doing this or that.

With time I´m feeling a bit better, although with this new pregnancy I´m barely able to enjoy each moment as I should be because I´m afraid, or sad, or feeling guilty that I´m mourning the last baby when I should be joyful for this one.

It's just not easy and I wish I could say something to make the pain disappear.

My sister-in-law had her little girl exactly two weeks before my Sam died and was born. It stings every time I see her. A bittersweet reminder of what should have been. To be honest, I think seeing her now has gotten a bit easier for me. She is now two years old and I think I will always remember my Sam as a baby and not a two-year-old. But I vividly remember the time when her cry made tears spring to my eyes and seeing her made me miss my baby even more, which I never thought possible.

Take good care of yourself,
Jenny

I think it would help if I could be pregnant again. But it isn't happening and that is just such an extra huge pain. I need that, I think, to begin to place him and let myself go over him. It is driving me spare that after years of easy conceiving, now I can't.

Merry, that is just shitty. My brother and his wife announced their pregnancy 2 weeks after our son died. I am so hoping that they have a girl and I desperately hope that I will be pregnant before their baby arrives in November. I don't know how I will deal with that baby if I am not.

Merry - I'm sorry things are so rough. I'm just hoping that when my SIL gets pregnant, it's after this baby has arrived and it's a boy. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope otherwise.

Hugs.

Oh Merry. I am so terribly sorry. I know that, conversely, I find it easier to deal with 'boy' pregnancies and births. Girls seem to sting a little more. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with a new nephew so soon after the loss of your sweet Freddie. xo

Oh, Merry, I am so sorry. My SIL had her baby boy three weeks before P was born. It is so hard to see pictures of him, knowing my little one would have been right there as well.

I do hope that you can conceive soon. Lots of hugs!

I hate that I've been knocked backwards. I was doing better, starting to see a way forward and now I just feel battered and low. I can't see how I'm going to live with watching my nephew grow up and not have Freddie there. I can't see how to manage except to run away. I've already had to run from my parents, I don't want to have to run from my sister too.