Jeanette had her beautiful Earnest, Congrats! And Mindy is almost there, hang in there sweetie!

How are the rest of you ladies?

I'm finally over the virus from hell and starting to cope with my decision to stop fertility treatments and pursue foster adoption. There is a very long blog post in my future but for now I am trying to take one day at a time.

I hope everyone finds some moments of peace, wherever you are on this journey.

Thanks Jen. I'm glad you're coming to a conclusion about TTC - I hope it brings you some semblance of peace.

AFM - I O'd on the weekend and K was able to feel better so timing looks good. Now I just need to chill out and see if we get lucky this month. Barf - I hate the 2ww.

Thinking of everyone here - I hope everyone is doing ok.

Just doing my best to wait until at least 10 DPO to POAS. Right now I keep telling myself to wait until after Mindy updates us with news about Baby V.

Had a major break down yesterday because our back up hard drive failed and took at least a year's worth of pictures with it (not the last year, but a from couple years ago). Hopefully it can be sent away to be recovered or I am stuck with just the pics I put on FB. Everyone make sure they have 2 back ups of the pictures of their babies just in case. You don't need to lose your pictures on top of everything else.

AF came this weekend. Yesterday I had a total breakdown, but I am feeling better today. The hormone thing coupled with frustration is a killer.
I think I mentioned before that I believe I can only get pregnant when I ovulate from the right side (due to an uterine malformation). Looking at my calendar I realized I won't be able to TTC in the next two right-cycles due to work related travels coinciding with O. How lucky can a person be?

Good luck to you ladies in the 2ww.

Jen - I would like to read your blog post. Can you post a link here?

Jen, I'm thinking of you. No words, just hugs.

Me, hanging in there, 30 weeks, finding I'm losing it with more frequency. Thinking of moving the date to 37 weeks if my Dr. will allow it.

Wishing everyone luck, no matter what stage you're at, hoping everyone gets some happy news/endings. Thinking of you all.

Jen -- glad you are feeling better. I wish you peace with your decision. Adopting is still a wonderful thing, even though it hurts to give up on the idea of your own children. I will definitely read your post when it is up.

As for me, my temp is still up, I am 16 DPO, no sign of AF, and I tested completely absolutely negative yesterday. No amount of staring has changed the test. There is SHIT in that window. Not a hint, not an evap, nothing.

I don't even KNOW.

My boobs are sore, and they didn't even get sore with my miscarriage. Nausea not so bad this morning. I feel like nothing makes sense, up is down, etc.

It's possible I ovulated either 4 or 7 days later than the original O crosshairs on my chart , so I guess I'll just grumble and cross my eyes, and if I don't bleed in a week or something call my OB and direct my "WTFS" at him.

Here's my chart link, if you want to see a beautiful, long, triphasic chart that tests negative. ARGH! http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2b9a15

Thanks for posting this Jen.

I'll go back and read more thoroughly and reply later.

Today is a mess. It's an awful sort of day. I told my husband two things after my meeting this morning: If I had a fifth of vodka, I'd be on drink #4 right now, and that I regret not having taken up smoking. It's that kind of day.

I, personally, am fine and ok. But things at work are not good. The meeting was awful. I am glad it's all out there, but man, you couldn't pay me enough to sit through it again. And for fun, someone submitted their resignation due to retirement today. I'll be filling in for them for the next few months (presumably on top of what I already do). That is paralysis-inducing.

Reproductivley - fine, if the stress of all this doesn't kill me or delay O. I'm so not focused on that at all. Like, at all. We'll try, but I am not into right now - there is so much more happening around me drawing my attention.

I'm 28 weeks now which sounds like a long way through this but when I think of 11 weeks to go, that sounds like a really long time to keep holding it together.

Had a scan last week that wasn't planned after seeing my ob. Now I've been diagnosed with GD, she wanted to check the growth. So I leave my ob appointment and ring up the scan place and they say 'We can get you in this afternoon' (it was lunchtime at this stage). It was scary. But the scan showed a growing baby boy who's the right size (39th percentile) which was a huge relief.

The reassurance of the scans doesn't seem to work for long now though - that night I was sitting there after dinner stressing about feeling movements in spite of having had a scan 4 hours earlier.

Seeing my endo today. So far diet and walking is keeping the gd under control. Crossing my fingers this continues. Will ask her about delivery also but my ob indicated if I can stay diet controlled then it'll stay at 39 weeks but if I'm on insulin then it will come to 38 weeks or earlier.

Eliza - Sorry about the work crap.

Melissa - Hope your cycle sorts itself out soon.

Monique - I can see things getting harder as time goes on as well. My ob seems to be under the impression I'll find it easier as times goes on which isn't really panning out.

Francisa - Hugs.

Cara and Sarah - Hope the tests show BFPs.

Jen - Hope you can find some peace with your decision in the coming weeks and months. And the foster to adopt process is smooth.

Maddie x

I'm on CD 20, and the wait is killing me. Did the clomid work, or not? I am wondering how I will feel if it doesn't work.....

I sort of have my heart set on this month being *the* month. I wish I could stop myself from thinking that way.....

Hoping for BFP for those trying and healthy babies for those about to deliver!

25 weeks tomorrow and losing it on the inside almost everyday. I try to keep it from showing on the outside but my DH knows. Every twitch and twinge, and every lack of a twitch or twinge makes my mind spin. Fear is a constant uninvited companion.

cd18 and no ovulation yet. haven't done anything since saturday as DH was a bit ill last night and has a horrible bug today. the soy hasn't seemed to make the slightest bit of difference.

sick of this. i was so optimistic at the weekend. now i'm convinced it will never happen and terrified there's something seriously wrong with the hubby.

well, i managed to get myself admitted last night to the hospital - not fun. seems this little guy is doing ok, now if i could just get myself feeling the same we'd be good.

i keep telling myself that every good thing comes with work (!), but it just seems like so much of it right now.

closing in on 33 weeks. 6 more to go.

Here's the blog post about my road from here, for those that asked (Thanks!).

http://babyinthewindow.blogspot.com/2010/07/giving-up.html

gmh217 - oh no! what happened? I'm glad to hear the little guy is okay. You take care of yourself and try to think peaceful thoughts, you are getting so close!

To B, Anna, Francisca, Cara, and Sarah - I am wishing that all of you get your BFPs soon.

Paula, Maddie, and Monique - you are all very strong, keep taking one day at a time, we will be waiting with you.

Eliza - I'm sorry work is so hard - we should so get a free pass on stuff like that

Melissa - I hope you figure out soon what is going on - that kind of thing makes me crazy, hang in there.

Jen -- I did read your post. If anyone judges you for choosing to adopt, send them my way. *shakes fist*

gmh217 -- Take care, and hang in there. This too really, really will pass. You can do it.

Jen - I'll virtually spleen punch anyone who questions your next steps.

Gmh217 - I hope everything is going ok.

Eliza - Thinking of you this week. Hoping you;re ok.

B - thinking of you too this week. I hope you have lots of luck this cycle, even if it doesn't feel like its going well.

To those baking babies - every new week brings you closer to holding those little live babies. I hope you're doing ok,

To those in the 2ww - I'm going mental, what about you? Today I cried for a totally stupid reason and even that has me hopeful that we've caught this month. I mean, I'm 4dpo and already grasping at straws. Temps are ok I guess (chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/269rtt) and I just wish it were 2 weeks from now and I can not wonder.

thinking of everyone,
S

I've given up trying to make sense of my 2-3WW.

My temp dropped, but is still in post-O range, and I'm not bleeding, and still having lots of progesterone symptoms. My boobs are aching in a way that very viscerally reminds me of feeling engorged and needing to pump.

Melissa - I just stalked your chart - and I have no idea either (but I don;t profess any deep chart reading abilities). I hope something resolves itself soon.

I'm totally losing it. It's CD28 and 11 DPO and my last cycle was 27 days. No sign of blood, I felt nauseous the last two evenings and my temp hasn't dropped but the HPT was still negative. I just want to know.

Melissa, I am starting to understand how you have been feeling.

gmh217, I hope everything is okay and you are home and feeling better.

thanks for your well wishes.

i was spiking fevers, had the chills/shakes, severe headache so they kept me at the hospital until they could get it under control. i seem to be better, although still feel under the weather - but not like i did earlier, thankfully.

the real problem is that my platelets keep dropping ... precipitously. has anyone had to undergo general anesthesia for a c-section? this is what i am looking at right now. that, or a natural vaginal delivery but all the doctors i have met with thus far have recommended a c-section in light of my history.

My temp is still down, but still no sign of AF.

Melissa - I;m sorry that this month is so odd and that your temps are falling.

Gayle - When I was giving birth to Foster his arm got stuck and they couldn't deliver his shoulders because one arm was out (instead of tucked up when a live baby is born). I couldn't stand the pain of the mw trying to get him arm back in and so I asked for a C-section. The spinal wasn't working and so I went under a general. Fortunately they were able to get him out vaginally once I was out, but it was like any other surgery for me - I went to sleep, something happened, I woke up. I was out for maybe 30 minutes total. Things to be aware of with a general is that you'll be groggy afterwards so perhaps it would be good to look into breastfeeding resources and how a general will affect that as well as making arrangements for skin to skin contact (with your partner) and find out how long until you'll be able to see your babe.

I can only presume that this is a stressful time - I hope you're doing ok.

much love,
Sarah

I dunno where else to put this.

So we have some friends from out of town staying the night. We have a guest bedroom, and an air mattress that seems to live on the floor of the nursery, since everyone we know has kids, and the kids sleep in there when people stay over.

So I'm sitting there, filling the air mattress, looking around this room that is strange. It's in my house, but it's like it's not even mine because I never used any of this stuff, and I never go in there. The six year old says: "And you still have all this baby stuff in here. So if someone comes over and they have a baby, they can just stay here."

Yes, kid, that's absolutely the plan. I keep that shit there for guest babies.