search discussions

glow in the woods

front page
the archives
what is this place?
the contributors
comment policy

Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

parenting after loss > Back at the grief starting line

Good Day All.
I have just discovered this site, and after reading through some of the posts, i have found comfort in the many experiences that are shared here.

Really short version of my story....

9 years ago, we lost our 2 day old prem baby boy whose name was Christian. His death rocked me to my core as I'm sure you can relate. Now, years later after having a precious baby girl ( also born prem, shes 3 now) i gave birth to another boy in 2016 who's name was Zachary. After Zach was born ( he was full term ) it was discovered that he had a major heart defect and underwent a 10 hour operation to reconstruct his heart. He lived for a total of 3 weeks, All spent in an ICU...

Lately i just feel like i am an anxious mess. And in turn giving my 3 year old anxiety. How do you parent after the traumatic loss of two children?
We cannot have anymore kids so my daughter is all we have and I'm scared the all my fears and the fact that i am grieving is impacting her negatively causing her to struggle with me. This in itself brings tonnes of guilt

Is anyone else in the same boat?
April 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRachelle
Hi Rachelle,
I am so very sorry for your losses. I can only imagine the pain. My situation isn't exactly like yours, but I wanted to give you support anyway. My iving children were 5 and 7 when we lost our baby at term to a cord accident. I have always just tried to show them what I think is a healthy way to live with grief and not tried to pretend I'm not sad. I also had emdr therapy to help me process the trauma. I wish I had better advice, but I mostly just wanted you to know that I hear you and your pain. Hugs to you.
April 22, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJ
Thank you J. I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs to you as well.
April 22, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRachelle