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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

parenting after loss > this month is hers

Hi all,

I was a semi-regular poster here shortly after the loss of my daughter in March, 2011.

My beautiful son just turned 2 last month. He is more than I ever hoped for. March has been hard for me, as I'm sure you understand. What I don't understand is why it seems to be hitting me harder than ever this year. Her stillbirthday is at the end of the month, and I'm already curled up crying in my mind while I go about acting normal. It's been nearly 7 years. I think maybe the past 2 years I've been so intensely wrapped up in parenting a little one to notice as much. This year my son is so independent, it's incredible. But I suppose it's also a loss in its own way, and that's compounding the grief. Maybe. Clearly I'm making this up as I go along and I have no idea if it makes any sort of sense.
March 5, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterChristy
Christy, sorry to hear the anniversary month is hitting you hard. A child's grief isn't something we can get over with. It does help to keep busy, so life helps us when it gets busy. However, as your son is getting more independent you probably have a little more time, and you may be realizing what you missed with your daughter. I'm 6 years from the stillbirth of my 1st son. His situation was diagnosed mid January and I went into labor exactly one week after. So that whole week is always very difficult for me. It feels like I relive it every year. Sending you love and courage for March.
March 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterEYR
Hi— I lost my first daughter on March 23, 2011. I have a 5 year old girl and a 3 year old girl. Every January would begin my hard time leading up to March. Then, three years ago my mom died in January, and last year my father-in-law died in February, so this year—those two months were dedicated to them. So here I am in March, having pushed away thoughts of my daughter, Shoshannna, and it just comes up underneath it all. I really thought this year would be better. But it’s not. My girls know of her and want to honor her, but I just can’t bring myself to celebrate. I’ll be thinking of you.
March 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSapphira