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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

parenting after loss > Rainbow bday

My rainbow son, A, is turning 2 tomorrow! How is that possible?!! I was at bday party for one of his daycare friends and people were blithely talking about siblings and having another etc...and I wanted to scream. He’s not my first child. His big sister, she should be here, screaming with delight as she goes down the huge slide at he indoor playground where the party was held...or helping her little brother go down the slide, the way the host’s older brother was...I miss my daughter.
December 16, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAB
Happy birthday to your son, AB! I hear you... I will always miss my firstborn. We have been incredibly lucky to welcome two more boys (aged 1 and 4) since my oldest died, but the sting is still there - whenever I see a family with three kids, especially 3 boys, whenever I hang out with kids the same age my son should be, whenever anyone asks how many kids I have... I hate that he's not here. I hate that I am left wondering what he'd be like. I hate that my two living boys don't get an older brother to play with. It sucks. I'm sorry you're living this reality too... xoxo
December 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMira
That’s exactly it, Mira, thank you. Xoxoxo back
December 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAB
Have just lost my newborn son after three weeks of life. I have two older sons at 12 and 7. Can i ask do you think it helps the familyto have another baby after this loss? People tell me that they are sorry but at least we have another two children and thats correct. But it doesnt take away the separate pain of losing our child number three. My body is craving the baby that i lost but i worry it wil make the pain worse as it will never replace our baby boy. Should i be unselfish in asking myself for another baby and be content with the two lovely sons i have left? I worry they have been through enough truma as it is. Without the worry of what could happen with the next pregnancy. Its so hard and no one to talk to that understands. The drs have told me i can try again after two months.
September 26, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie