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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

parenting after loss > Daycare

Today the day was here, the day that my rainbow started daycare and we had a sitdown with the one in charge. She was all new to us, didn't know about our family like the rest of them that also worked there when our little miss S died 25 months ago and our eldest went there.

I broke down when we talked about family and siblings, couldn't say a word for minuites. Little miss S should have been on the same floor, running around. Today was a hard day.
September 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterScandinavian endo-girl
Dear S endo-girl,
I am so sorry for your miss S. I believe we try to live a sheltered life, surrounding ourselves with people that are familiar of our story, have been warned off touching delicate matters. Yet, despite all that, from time to time a disruption of our nice equilibrium send us into the deps of misery, because we are forced to see the obvious.
that despite the hapiness of each moment, each we pass with our living children, our most precious things in life... despite that... we know that itshould have been a diferent thing, a better moment, if miss S or my darling younger son Pedro were still here!

And yet, our lucky ones, the survivors, do still need their mum an daddy to be happy for them, with them.... and so we are... untill our own specialalone time, when we grief for th would have and shoul have beens!
September 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarta
Thank you Marta.
I'm sorry that Pedro isn't there with you.

I love that people mentions, remember, little miss S, I like to know that she matters, that she's missed by others than the four off us. But still, even when I know that the family/siblings subject will be spoken of I still cry sometimes, When my two LC are with me, I don't cry when the subject is spoken of. My oldest is so natural about her little sisters death, and have so much love for here middle sister and that makes me proud of here.
September 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterScandinavian endo-girl
I know what you mean... i am currently 15 w pregnant of a boy, and its been nearly 2 years since we lost our little angel. And I had to swallow a friend telling me its my second time, and she knows its not! I think people are well meaning, but they dont understand we do not ever want to forget!

My oldest daughter is picking the name for the new brother, and she wanted to name him the same name... I sometimes think we sheltered her so much when he died... for her one moment the baby was in my womb and next day it was gone. She never saw him, and we hid from her the burial. She was almost ten...

nevertheless she accepts when we say we cannot give the same, and accepts that for me this will be her second brother. We have learned from each other and accept our different points of view.
I will show her Pedro'only photo, but only when our rainbow is here, so she may mourn one, but be happy with what is still with us.

thank you for listening,
all the best for you!
September 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarta