(I'm not sure of the etiquette? So just wanted to start by mentioning that this is about my living son born after loss. I guess it's obvious that the posts here are about living children, but I know that not everyone chooses to, or can, have a baby after their loss(es) so I just wanted to start this off sensitively... )

Hello, I'm not new to Glow, but I am new to parenting after loss.

I'm still pinching myself, I still I can't quite believe that I have a healthy, living baby boy here, and that I join you on this forum. But he is here, and so am I. I'm reaching out to see how those of you who've had a child after you've lost, have felt?

It's a little over 5 weeks ago, almost 21 months after Zephyr was stillborn, that our second son arrived safe and well. He looks just like his big brother did. I guess I knew he would. But what I don't know is how I feel about that... It's confusing.

During my pregnancy I was aware and anxious that it might be the case. In the early moments that he was born, the similarity to his brother brought me comfort. I noticed the same little soft rounded nose & the shape of his lips, and I felt a warmth and connection to Zephyr. And of course they look alike! They are brothers after all. But no one else will ever see that. And that makes me sad. Folks see the likeness to me or his Dad, but never his brother.

For me, it seems most apparent when he sleeps, and in our dimly lit waking moments during the nights, that's when I really notice it. With his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open - just like Zephyr when he was born. I see Zephyr in his little brother's features so clearly.

I know there are no answers. I feel that it's special that they look alike, and that it's natural, and that, perhaps as this little one grows and changes he'll look less like his brother. I'm aware too that the passing of time, the longer he lives, that in itself could bring sadness too.

So really I don't know quite why I'm here, or what I'm trying to say, I just wanted to say it here, among you folks who might understand... x

Hi Z's mum, I am so pleased at Z's brothers safe arrival. It is truly a blessing. It truly is a special thing and sacred too that your boys look alike. My two don't look alike but I suppose its because one's a boy the other a girl. Where Brady is a big strong boy, Zia was a petite and slender little thing even at 33 weeks. I imagine that he would carry her over his head and ruffle her hair as they grew. He has wild frizzy hair like me, hers were curly but silky like her dad's. But when I look at my neice Jasmin she is sometimes the splitting image of her sister Jadene who passed away at the age of seven about 9 years ago. Especially when she was smaller. When Jadene died, Jazzy was just six months old and as she grew she would say or do some things Jadene used to. Their hair is the same black and their eyes have the same sort of depth but there are those slight differences now as she is growing up. I am sorry that they are not together, we do tell Jazzy she looks like her sister and maybe one day you will say the same to Z's brother. Likewise, I wish your boys were together.

Hi Z's mum, I do understand what you are saying. I understand the emotions, it's complicated. Olive looks like herself, but at times I can sit there and see her brothers' features. It hurts my heart so much, as much as I love her and she completes our family there are times I just want him. It's both comforting and distressing at the same time. Much love to you and both your boys. X

Hi Z's mum.

our rainbow is now 13 days, and oh boy does she look like little miss s, the same little nose, the mouth, their forhead, well everything. It's been so confusing that i've even called our rainbow miss s a number of times. It's so surreal to have a live baby at home again, to think that IVF did work out the third time around, and for the first time in a fresh cycle.

I don't know how i feel about Miss s lille sister looking so alike here, rainbow is looking very much alike here live big sister too, and i guess ppl will tell us that our two girls Are blueprints of each other. I can allready feel that that's gonna hurt that nobody ever wil tell us that miss s resembels here sisters. That none of our friends got to see here.