So... we did it finally... tonight... we cut the Snuza cord and put the boys to bed without their beepers. The clips have been rubbing on their skin and the alarms have been going off at all hours of the night bc the boys move around so much and breathe shallowly. And really, their main purpose for us right now was just to make the moms feel better. When they wore their clips, I knew I didn't need to check on them and knew they were ok because they were wearing them. Without them on...I don't know that. Now, I find I want to check on them constantly. My anxiety is NUTS. I'm really glad we used the Snuzas early on in their lives because I was terrified of SIDS and we were getting precious little sleep anyway...but we definitely should have let them go earlier. Now, my safety cord is gone... what if, what if, what if, what if? URGH....

We're going to bed soon. Hopefully, i'll be able to sleep. On top of all of this, I had a bad accident on the ice on Monday night and I have a mild concussion along with sore muscles all over. The concussion definitely doesn't help with the PTSD, but S was up turning those alarms off 4 times last night. That's too much... its time (and its me insisting). WHAAAAAAA.

Carrie, do y'all have a video monitor? I couldn't live without one. If I'm anxious about M, I'll sit and stare at the video until I see her twitch or breath and roll over. It saves me from going in her room to disturb her. And just having the monitor with me is soothing, even if the screen is dark and I'm not looking.

I'm sorry about your concussion. I'm sure you're right, that it's not helping your anxiety level.

hugs,

Not much to contribute except I hear you!!! My rainbow son used a snuza until around 9 months. I went into his room several times a night when we stopped using it.....I'd check on him and was forever waking him up and disturbing him accidentally. It's only in the last few months that I hold back from going in to check his breathing (and he's 18 months old now). I have to mentally talk myself out of going in there- his sleeping is finally better but geez it's tough!!

A video monitor is a good idea. xx

Thank you both. We are doing better with it than I thought we would (3rd night now). The boys seem to make enough noises before we go to bed, that we don't feel too nervous (plus, we've done without the Snuzas for naps for long enough now that a couple of hours doesn't feel as scary). Once we go to bed, we both seem to be doing ok. Still, I've suggested a video monitor a few times and S is resistant to it for some reason. I think its partly because of cost and partly hassle (or perhaps she thinks she'd be obsessed with it). We would have to get two wifi cameras or a monitor with two cameras because their cribs are across the room from each other. I think it would be helpful when they get older to see if they are crying because something is wrong or just because. Not that we wouldn't help them both times...but... you know. (Shelby's Mum, the boys are 10.5 months old...so we went a little longer than you but not too much. Man, the boys hated those clips...).

Hugs to you both!

Carrie, hope you're doing fine without the Snuzas. We've been without it since she was around 8months, but we're always checking the video monitor and we go into her room if we think she's too quiet. Will we ever be able to completely relax?

We JUST took the angelcare monitor out from beneath Caroline's mattress last week. Way tired of it going off in the middle of the night when she wriggles off it. Just takes some time for us mommies to get used to. I do love our video monitor though....

Dear Carrie, just to say - i hear you too!-
you are doing so well.
My rainbow boy was on an angelcare until he crawled off it At 10 months several times a night setting it off- causing my heart to stop- til i too, couldnt take it anymore. Nerve wracking though. and then I was so anxious I slept on the floor for weeks with my hand on his chest or hand to be be an angelcare myself at the slightest hint of a cold/ temp. Then I bought a minimattress so I could actually sleep a bit too!
He is now 2 and I only do that now when am feeling wobbly. So you are doing amazing .
Whatever you do that is right for you and your family is the way to go I think.
Hope you all get done sleep xx