I have a 7 year old son with my first husband and we don't always get along. Ok like 95% of the time we don't get along. He knows that I recently lost my youngest son who passed away when I was 4.5 months pregnant. We were arguing because I "interfere" with his visitation when I ask to call my 7 year old when he is gone on extended visits. His argument was and I quote "you don't know what it's like to only see your son occasionally."

Honestly, I dont know what that's like.

But I know what it's like to only have seen your son once in your whole life. I know what it's like to not ever see him AGAIN. I know what it's like to have that one time you were able to see him ruined by the fact that he's dead and has already been dead for a few days. I know what it's like to associate the smell of death with your son. I know what permanent separation from a cold is. I know loss. I know that sorrow.

But no I don't know how the visitation thing feels. I don't know how it feels to be inconvenienced by a 15 minute phone call. I don't know how it feels to walk away from your son willingly and then bitch that I got my way.

I only know how it feels to have your dead son forced from you. I don't know how it feels to willingly sacrifice that.

Kayla,

I am so sorry that your ex-husband could not be the bigger person and just shelve any issues he has with you while you are grieving. Or understand that you may need more contact with your living child while you are grieving your baby. It just makes me glad that he is not your partner any more!