I haven't posted in a long time almost a year when I was TTC. Now I have my rainbow baby and I am actually feeling really good and happy…but I do have a lot of weird carry over emotions and behaviours from our first baby dying. Reading the parenting section is reassuring that a lot of what I'm feeling isn't that abnormal considering what we've lived through.

…does any one else take a crazy number of pictures of their children? Like two or three a day sometimes. I feel like if he dies I'll have pictures and video to remember him by. It's weird but I feel like I'm very blessed to have the time that I do have with him and that you never know when it could end. Which is technically true but maybe not the healthiest?

The photos make me very happy both in the moment and later when I look through them but part of me wonders if I need to work on not doing it so much because I know the rationale behind it is a bit messed up. He's only been around four months and I have hundreds of photos on memory cards!

I have oodles of pictures of Rosabella. I wanted to remember each moment and each day, although I did not think about her dying, just getting older. Keep taking the pictures, I know that you won't regret having them later!

Totally! Must have well over a thousand pictures already. And i LOVE looking through them, it amazes me how much he's grown and changed already. But I think every parent does that, not just us babyloss moms... Like Grace's mom, I don't think of him dying, just changing so, so quickly.

I've been making Philip albums on flickr every couple of months, to share with family and friends (and for me to look back on). Just recently I added a couple of pictures of Stefan to share with glow folks... And it stung so bad. Two, only TWO!! decent pictures of Stefko... So f_ing unfair!

We've been taking tons and tons of our boys as well. I think that's typical, even of parents who have never lost a baby. These days with the ease of digital photography and smart phones, why not? :-). Snap away!

Thanks for the comments…. I was wondering if it was a bit morbid that I was doing this…he is just so precious to me and I do think more so than if I had not lost my daughter. I am really relishing every moment I get…which is good in a lot of ways I suppose but bittersweet to know how the people in your life can be transient too...

Megan, I know this is way past the original post, but I wanted to say that I not only take tons of pictures of Elise, but also have thought about having them in case something ever happens to her. I just tell myself it's normal after the trauma we've experienced. I felt like to took tons of pictures of Griffin while he was alive and once we knew he wasn't healthy, then even more once we realized he wasn't going to survive. I wish I had more now, but when time is limited I also realize I wanted to experience some of that time without a camera in my hand. So, I think realizing he was dying and taking tons of pictures, but then afterwards wishing I had more, made me go crazy with Elise. Initially I would take a picture in every single outfit she owned. Even if it was the same day. Or I change her clothes just to take more pictures. She wasn't really even doing anything since she was so young at that point. But I couldn't get enough. I'm a little bit better now (she's almost 11 months), but I take tons of videos still. As many as I can before my phone fills up for the 100th time.