Hi everyone, we are currently away at the beach for the holiday weekend with 4 other families. It's beautiful chaos in the house where we are staying all together, with everyone helping to cook, looking after each others' kids, etc. But I just feel so alone in the middle of it. I should be frantically wishing my twins would go to bed already, instead my husband and I are both tucking our 4 year old in to bed easily. The other families are stressing, splitting time between multiple children, but we have it too easy with our only living son. Our family felt so sweet and cozy before we lost our boys, now the same three of us feel so incomplete. I just wish I could take a vacation from my grief.

Yep - I get this ememers. We went away for a long weekend with two other families 6 months after A died and it was horrible. I felt the same way: we had it too easy with our only living child. Sending you a big hug.

I so completely understand you, Ememers! My friend has three children. I have only one, my living, precious 5 year old daughter. My friend and I are together almost all the time. I sit on the couch and relax while she is spinning frantically between all three. I have only a car seat in the car, she has three. I envy the mess in her house, mine is so tidy. And what kills me most is my daughter taking care of her little one, exactly the same way she pictured she will do with her little baby brother.