and anyone else back at work, please could you tell me how it's going, I'm terrified of going back and putting Bobbie in childcare still so young and helpless :( and even more terrified of losing the bond I have with her and her wondering where I am :(

Hey Danielle,

It is definitely hard being back at work. In fact, the first few weeks were brutal and I cried alot. I decided to cut back my work schedule to four days a week. This leaves me still working about 45 hours per week, but it's better than the 55+ that I used to work. Making this change has meant that I have taken a slight paycut for this year, and will be facing a demotion at the end of this school year. I don't know exactly what I'm going to do when that happens, but I know that it is the right decision for me right now.

Regarding the bond...I was really, really worried about losing the bond with Gabe, too. That hasn't happened. You are Bobbie's mommy, and that bond is unbreakable. She will be glad to see you every time you pick her up. You will both cherish the time that you have together when you aren't at work. Weekends have a whole new meaning for me now, and I absolutely cherish those full, uninterrupted days with Gabe.

Before having babies, I never in a million years could have imagined myself not working. Now, I feel so differently. I would give almost anything to be able to stay home with Gabe. Be prepared for a painful adjustment period when you return to work, but it does get better. Hugs to you and Bobbie, and I'm remembering Freddie with you. XX

It's such a relief to hear you say the bond you have with Gabe has remained. I too would give anything to be off work with Bobbie having always believed I'd never want to not work.

Danielle, Going back to work was hard. I was lucky enough to have my DH be able to stay at home with Rosabella, and that helped. He brings her to me on Fridays and we have lunch as a family in one of the exam rooms at work (the room I usually pump in). My schedule is 4 days a week and I could not imagine doing 5 (but like Nikki I work 11 hour shifts so maybe if I had a 9-5 job 5 days would be more doable). Things that helped me: the Friday lunches are huge, my DH calls a lot and gives me updates/ I can talk to Rosabella, I do her entire night time routine (bath, massage, putting on PJs and then nurse to sleep). On my days off I pretty much exclusively take care of her. I started learning baby massage when I went back to work, I loved it as another way to bond with her and be close and have something special. I read a book about it, but mostly watched videos on You Tube to learn how.

Bobbie loves you best in the whole world because you are her mummy and nothing (not even going back to work) can change that. Like Nikki I wish that I could work less (not at all I don't think that I would like). I did get passed over for a promotion at work since I refused to work 5 days a week, and it stung a little, but not as much as being away from my girl an extra day a week would have. Best of luck!