I gave birth to my first child at 23w4d on September 18th and sadly he couldn't survive. I cannot stop crying, thinking and singing for him. We recently buried him in a private grave but that's not what we planned for him. We gave him a name and prepared his room, bed and other things. Now I have nothing but emptiness and a huge pain and sadness. My lovely Daniel passed away after 5 days being in NICU and I believe my life will never get happy again. Unfortunately, nobody understands my feeling, they are just trying to push me moving on by saying the stupid phrase : (you are still young and can have another baby). I miss my lovely Daniel; he is my loved and irreplaceable son. Nobody understands our grieving time and loss. I hate everyone except my poor husband who is suffering like me...

Fatima - remembering Daniel with you. My son Ethan lived for four days in the nicu in May 2012. The earl months are so raw. I cried all of the time. The pain was awful, still is in ways. But it is less all-encompassing somehow. Daniel will never be replaced or forgotten. Always loved and remembered.

People say some stupid shit. Lots of it. And it hurts. It's ok to tell them when it's hurtful. Set boundaries for what's acceptable and what's unacceptable when they speak of Daniel and your grief. Your sweet Daniel lived. He was real. He is real. I join you in remembering him.

Breathe. Sleep when you can. Do what you can to get through the day.

Thanks dear Annie for your nice sympathy, I thank God for finding this place where people tell the truth when they say “I understand you”. Others try to help but no matter they say I don’t feel good. Yesterday we went to cemetery in the morning putting flowers on my Daniel’s grave, crying and talking with him. I know he is in heaven with God and angels but I do miss my loved, small, poor son. That was my first pregnancy and I have totally lost my self-confidence for the second one thinking we can never have a living healthy chid.
Knowing I am 38 (starting 39) years old, I might not have a chance for having baby again. I appreciate your kindness and send loves to you.

Thinking of you Fatima and Daniel tonight. I am sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter Zia at 33 weeks and 1 day. Im 29, people also tell me I'm still young and will have more, they have no idea what this feels like and nor do they care. They fail to accept that our children existed and are now gone, they cannot ever be replaced. Just hang in there, do not expect them to understand or feel the way you do. Its how I stay sane.

I appreciate your kindness and understanding dear Jo-Anne and I am so sorry for your loss. For us, the worse thing was the part that we had to make a decision to withdraw the care, because baby was born before 24 weeks, he was very small at birth (570 grams) and had very bad convulsion right away after coming. Doctor told us if our Daniel survives, he will be most probably either on wheelchair or struggle with major health problems because of moderate brain damage. That was why we decided to let him go in peace, instead of living sick and miserable.I regret all the time and blame myself always for what happened to him. It was actually my sickness (weak cervix) the reason I went to preterm labor. Now I found a very good high risk doctor for my next pregnancy, but I do wish I knew my problem before to be able to save my poor Daniel. Strange thing is all my ultrasound was looking OK. In all of them, my cervix was showing high and thick, that was why doctors could not figure out problem. If they did, I still have my son with me and go to full term labor. There are 1000 of ifs, and I know they do not help and nothing will be changed, but I do regret...
Sending love to you and your nice daughter. Zia, Daniel and all lost babies are now in heaven and peace.
Best wishes for you

Dear Annie,
I am sorry for your loss and think of your lovely Ethan. I wish you are getting better now, however we will never forget our little ones. I have started working this weak, it may seem too early but I might help. However, I go frequently to washroom to cry...
All the best