I don't think I can be with my partner anymore, I wish I could for my rainbows sake but I just don't think I can manage it for so many reasons. One thing I can't forget is during a fight recently when i wanted to leave and take a break he threatened to use post natal depression against me saying that he would say I was crazy and couldn't care for our baby if i took her away. He will probably now say that he said that in temper or was upset at me taking the baby away or whatever but it can't be undone now. I don't trust him and I'm not sure i even love him like I used to. It's been hard and I've been so tired and angry with him lately but when I look back at the relatively short time we have together, I haven't been happy or felt settled for the most of that. If it wasn't for the baby we would definatly have split up or at least been on a break by now. He is a loving good father, i hate the thought of splitting him and the baby up but he is making me miserable.

Sorry to hear this, Anon. With grief and a new baby, the last thing that you need is to deal with relationship issues. I'm of the school of thought that staying together for the kids only is never a good idea and that it causes more harm than good. I'm sure that you have explored counseling and other ways to improve your relationship. I hope that you are able to find a solution that works for you.

I am happily single and, while caring for a baby alone is challenging, it's certainly doable. I have no regrets about it whatsoever, though it would be nice if I didn't have to work. I say this only because the thought/fear of parenting on your own might be on your mind, and I wanted to let you know that it's not as scary as you might think. Good luck to you. XX

Two things you need - a lawyer and a therapist. The lawyer to help protect you and the baby and to help you think clearly and rationally. The therapist, for you and/or for both of you if the father will go, because . . .1. - it will be of help to the family judge; and 2.- it might be of help to you and the father emotionally.

I'm very sorry you are having these troubles on top of everything. So much of it is so hard. You don't have to do it all alone, though I know it feels that way. Talk to friends, family, ob/gyn, try a Compassionate Friends meeting to get recommendations from all for both of the professionals. Even if you wind up doing neither of these things, having the information available to you will not hurt. Sometimes, all it takes is a back up plan to make the current situation easier to navigate.

Sending love and wishing you the very best.

It is a very stressful time raising a rainbow baby. It takes a toll on a relationship. I have experienced this. In anger I have said horrible things and so has my partner. I thought maybe we couldn't forget the things we said but things have gotten better. Do what you need to do. Take some time a part but maybe give it some time before you make the decision to divorce.

I am wishing you the best.

It is hard