7 hours she has been crying for now with barely a breath. I know there are so many people who would give anything for a crying baby and I know I'm lucky but by god this is hard hard work

Parenthood is such hardwork. Parenthood when you feel you have to be manically grateful is a bloody grind and can wear you down terribly.

This too will pass. She just needs something and this is her only way of telling you. It's not your fault the two of you are still learning each others language.

You don't have to be perfect, or grateful or even happy about it. This too will pass. You can do it. It's okay to need a breather from the hard work and resent it all for a while.

I hear ya, Danielle. It gets really, really old when you have a difficult baby. I have one too, so I completely feel your pain. I hope it lets up soon. XX

Also thought I would share that Gabriel has discovered how to increase the volume of his screams in the past two days, and it is now ear-splitting. Sigh.

Oh yes Nikki, Bobbie seems to learn how to increase the volume and drama of her screams daily :) it's crazy, during the night and in the mornings she is like a different baby, yesterday morning she was smiling at me and we were playing then it hit midday and like a switch she was screaming, not feeding well, refusing to sleep. In the night such as now at 3am she has drank her full bottle without a murmer and has not cried at all even when I disturbed for her nappy change and she will go back down too without a problem.

Merry, you are so right, I do feel like I have to be manically grateful and hate it when thoughts of just wanting to pass her to someone else for a while and go to sleep cross my mind. Thankyou for your words, I needed them.