Hi ladies-I'm so devastated and my husband does not understand my sadness. My son died of SIDS at 6 Mos old in January. 7 wks later I got pregnant. 6 weeks later had a miscarriage. 2 mos after miscarriage my dog was hit by a car and killed.
I am now 13 weeks pregnant and have been obsessed w having another boy. We had alot of testing done, baby is all good-but it's a girl. And I'm devastated. I already have a daughter and want my son!
How do I get over this?! How much sadness and disappointment can a person take! My husband is elated that baby is healthy. I wish I could feel that way. Please help!

Hi Julie,

Our situations are different, but I was also initially devastated to find out the gender of my subsequent baby. My daughter Charlotte died, and I was crushed to find out that I was having a boy. I mean, devastated. It took a while for me to warm up to the idea of having a boy during my pregnancy, but it got a little better. And now that he's here, I can't imagine having any other baby besides him. Except, of course, for the daughter I lost. The bottom line is you will always miss your son, even if you went on to have 10 other sons. And the new little girl will steal your heart and be her own unique person. I remember that sting, though. I cried bitterly when I found out that I was not going to have a living daughter. Give yourself some time to adjust to the idea. It will happen.

Thanks for your support Nikki. The only reason I got pregnant again is that I thought for sure I would be given another son. The thought of having a girl never crossed my mind bc I was so sure the universe would not let me down again. I am now accustomed to living in a cruel world of constant disappointment, but that really doesnt make this any easier. I hope in time I can come to accept this, as I have no choice. It ur probably right Nikki, another son would never replace Baby Bug. There will always be just one of him-just wish he was here w us...

Julie- Your feelings are perfectly normal and justified. I have a living daughter and then lost a son. I went on to have a rainbow daughter. I am now pregnant again (18 wks) and it's another girl. I just can't seem to have a living boy. I have come to terms with the fact that I will never have a living son in my family but it still gets me sometimes. My husband jokes about "just me and the girls" and "I'm going to need a man-cave to escape all this estrogen." It crushes me. I don't want all this estrogen. I want a son. Not to replace what I lost but to fill the space that I made in my life and my heart for a son.

I don't think you'll 'get over it.' Time will just help ease the strength of your feelings. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to lose a baby who came home with you and grew with your family for 6 months. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. It's unimaginable. The one thing I do know about rainbow babies is that once they arrive safe and sound - you love them more than you think you could. They don't replace what you lost but they fill a void of the baby you were longing to have. I seriously doubted that I could feel that way....until I brought her home. I wish you strength and health through the next year.

Julie,
I cried my eyes out when I found out I was having a boy. I wanted another daughter.
You are not alone and you will be OK. I promise you will feel differently at some point.
Never stop being honest.
I care.

Hi Julie, I'm very sorry for yet another loss - the loss of this second son you had imagined and dreamed of. It *is* a loss, albeit the loss of a dream instead of a real actual child. Still hurts like crazy though.

I had two healthy boys, then lost a little girl at 12 weeks and then another miscarriage. Seeing families with both genders makes me feel, as my good sarcastic friend puts it, "stabby." :-) It's awful, really it is, but there's nothing to be done but keep on keeping on. I know this daughter will bring you much joy, and that you will always miss your boys. It stinks but it's real. Sorry we're both going through it.

BM, Diana, and Leah,
Thank u for understanding and your support. I'm 16 weeks now and doing better. Warming up to another girl. The initial sting has worn off a bit, and I am just taking it one day at a time. I am not giving up my dream of another son though. . It can still happen. I just have to see how our family feels after rainbow girl arrives :-) I will be overjoyed with a healthy baby, just as I was w my other 2. And Bm I hope our rainbow is loved more than we ever thought possible. I want my daughter to have a living sibling. I want this for her more than me and my husband. That is my drive to stay healthy and positive for this rainbow.
My Baby Bug was just so cute and perfect. And I miss him. I get angry at him sometimes for dying. There was no reason. We had the perfect 6 mos together. Then he left. And I won't know why. That is still hard to accept. And always will be. Thank u for not judging me mamas. Thank u for being here

I am going through a similar situation. We lost our son Noah when he was four days old. When he was born he seemed perfectly healthy, but at four days old he stopped breathing while in my arms. They revived him and he lived on life support for another 4 days with no brain activity. I'm pregnant with my second child now, and found out yesterday we are having a girl. I am beyond devastated. I feel like I am grieving all over again. I can't seem to rationalize why I feel this way. I was just so happy and blessed to have a son, I couldn't believe it. I feel that life is so unfair, so I am not surprised to be not be having a son. I can't stop crying, and I got in a huge fight w my husband because I didn't want to know the gender and he did, so I felt pressured to find out. I hope this depression doesn't last. I can't take it.

Hi Kelly.
Gosh it's been a long time since I've been on Glow. I am sorry you have to feel this pain of the loss of your son, and the disaapontment of your rainbow's gender. Yes this world can be so
So cruel to some of us.
My rainbow is 17 mos now and the cutest baby ever. My heart bursts when I think of her, and the strength it took for her to come to help soothe our broken hearts. I love her more than words can express.
She has brought much joy and healing to our little family, and I am grateful that our older daughter Whitney has a sister to love.
That being said...to be completely honest, I still struggle with losing my only son. And we found out his summer that we have very Little chance of having another baby-although we are still trying. As others have said, the stab And sting get a little less painful. But it will always be there, even if you do have another boy someday.
The truth of this road is that life goes on even when we don't want it to, and even if it doesn't look or feel like we imagined. Just know that I (and others here) know your pain, and understand. Holding you close.