My son Gabriel is one month old today. As I celebrated my boy's young life today, I was hit with a deep wave of grief for my girl. What would she have been like at one month old? I assume that I will feel this way as time marches on and Gabriel reaches other milestones in his life. It is becoming my pattern that every time I am hit by a new wave, I find some quiet time to just talk to Gabriel about his big sister Charlotte, and how much we love her. For those of you who are farther out in your grief and/or subsequent children - do those month/birthday/holiday markers get any easier? How has it changed for you over time, if at all?

Most of the month markers just fall by without me noticing anymore. I think about the big ones, 18 months will be next month and then 2 years in Feb. I too talk about Grace to Rosabella all the time. I want her big sister to be a real part of her life so I try to integrate her memory even this early on. I could never envision what Grace would be like before Rosabella, since I had never raised a newborn before, now I can and although it makes me sad it also brings such joy since part of Grace lives on in her sister.

Nikki- I posted above this post something that has helped me through the waves of grief (and in between). At the beginning it was so nice for me to see how Julia looked like Shoshanna. Now, she is way past the newborn stage and I constantly wonder if Shoshanna would have looked like Julia. This is a never-ending conversation. Xoxo

I'm 3 years out from losing Foster, and little K is just over 2. It gets so so much easier.

I remember having a panic attack while driving little K on his nap one day when he was about 5 months old. He was squished down in his car seat and I could see his little face and with his hat on he looked so much like Foster in the only position I'd ever seen him in. It was awful.

As little K gets older and has his own strong personality I sometimes wonder what my other boy would have been like, but I don't dwell. I miss my boy and the perspective I may have had on pregnancy and mothering had I not lost him, but ultimately, I try and live in a place of gratitude that I have a child at all. Our living son knows that we're sad sometimes, but he also knows that he's loved and we relish him.

So - I'm mostly finding it easier as we move forward and get tied up with parenting after everything we've been through. There are rough days but overall it's not as hard as the early days were. Does that help at all?

Thank you, Sarah H. It does help to hear the perspective of someone who is farther out from the loss than I am. I am definitely feeling the grief deeply and often right now, but I think that is to be expected with Gabriel being only a month old and Charlotte's first birthday having just passed. I am also being triggered often as I make my first attempts to reconnect with some of my friends who had babies around the time that Charlotte was born. It's all so hard, but I'm working through it and my heart absolutely swells with love for Gabriel each day. Thank you ladies for understanding. XX