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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

not ttc | infertility after loss > Still Mothers

Hi There,

Just wanted to share that I have recently found ‘Still Mothers’ a helpful source of support as someone who finds themselves in the non ttc part of the babyloss community:

http://www.stillmothers.com/about/about-still-mothers/

It has a strictly ‘non-rainbow’ baby focus, so they are gently and persistently challenging the idea that the only way to heal after loss is with another child. There is a very good selection of hope filled stories that are being shared here within sections called ‘dealing with grief’, ‘working towards healing’, ‘love yourself with self care’, ‘finding peace’ and ‘embracing your motherhood’.

Whilst the emphasis is on living with childlessness after babyloss, I still find much of what is being shared here useful and relevant to my own post babyloss situation (i.e. a mother with a living child, but no baby born after my loss).

Mango x
June 29, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMango Mummy
Thank you for sharing this
August 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAnon
Thank you for sharing this... I didn't know it existed and having a new safe space to explore is very welcomed.
September 10, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterk chan
Mango, I also want to add that I appreciate all of your posts in this forum. I don't say much, but every few months I come back to read. Being in this situation, not TTC and my only pregnancy ending in loss, there doesn't seem to be many places for me. But your posts shine light and warmth on my heart. Thank you.
September 10, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterk chan
Thanks Anon and k chan for your comments, it's always nice to know that my post/posts have been appreciated. Likewise, I have appreciated other people's posts here too.

It can be really challenging to find our own safe spaces. I do feel Still Mothers is trying to address a need that, as some of you have rightly pointed out before, has a tendency to be marginalised within the online babyloss community. It has attracted a variety of babyloss mums who were struggling to 'fit in' because of their TTC status. I guess I see Still Mothers providing respite from the 'rainbow baby' talk, in the same way as I see Glow providing respite from the 'angel baby' talk amongst other things.

I've kind of concluded that it is probably unrealistic to try and get all my needs met from one community/place, so I've been searching out multiple sources of help over the years (both online and offline) for different aspects of my needs post loss.

All the best,

Mango x.
September 21, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMango Mummy