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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

not ttc | infertility after loss > Surprise DOR after loss

I lost my second child last June at 38 weeks due to a previously undiagnosed bloodclotting condition. We have been trying again and it turns out I don't have have very many eggs left, much less than I should at 37 years old. Both our living child and our loss were basically unplanned, so this was a tremendous, terrible surprise. We are going down all of the usual paths but it doesnt look great for us. My husband thinks I am too upset and i dont know how to explain to him that losing our daughter was like losing a limb and I will always feel incomplete but a new baby might lessen that somewhat. I dont really have a reason for posting, just feeling upset and alone.
June 26, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersituate
Dear Situate,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your daugther and the unending hole that leaves in your soul, your life, your heart. I just want to say that I hear you - and that feeling like you're running out of time/options just sucks. Hugs to you and courage for the journey - whichever path you follow.
June 27, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJ
Thank you ♡
June 27, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersituate

I am so sorry for the upsetting news you received . I struggled with infertility after losing my second child and it was a long hard road filled with disappointment and loss, failed cycles, and miscarriage. I was finally able to conceive with egg donation after I realized that having another living child meant more to me than a genetic connection. This was decision was made easier by the fact my daughter died of a genetic disease and I was over 40. I am not suggesting you try or consider that. I just wanted you to know you are not alone and I’m sorry you’re going through this.
July 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAnon