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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > Autopsy Results

We meet with our doctor today and I have re-read the autopsy report many times. Anatomically everything was intact no evidence of malformation of body or of vital organs, he was small for his gestational age (I was 32 weeks pregnant but his size was of 26 weeks gestation cause of intrauterine growth retardation unknown). The final diagnosis is that Santiago mostly likely died from consequences of maternal GBS infection, the infection was noted on the placenta not on him. It's unknown how it reached him, the other thing is that there wasn't a lot of amniotic fluid. The way I'm digesting all of this information is that his protective shell, the placenta, was being destroyed by the GBS infection not allowing it to function properly, thus, the small size and the minimal amount of fluid which I think lead to his death.

Either way, it doesn't make a huge different as to how we feel about our loss but it gives me hope that the outcome doesn't rule out us trying to have more babies in the future.

Did any of you have GBS infections linked to the loss of your babies?
April 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElieth Obando
Hi Elieth,

I am so sorry about the loss of Santiago, and about you even having to contemplate a day like today, let alone live it.

My son also had GBS infection, inside an intact sac. New research is beginning to implicate this bacteria in more and more fetal deaths and premature births. Last summer I actually wrote a piece about that infection and subsequent pregnancies here at GITW. Here's the link: http://www.glowinthewoods.com/home/2008/7/8/pubmed-says-gbs-infection-in-pregnancy.html

As a personal story, my second son was born last August a little prematurely and had to spend a week in NICU. He had pneumonia, probably because he too picked up an infection while still in utero. But I had several rounds of antibiotics throughout that pregnancy, and it is possible that they helped to slow down the infection enough to give him that chance.

It's not an easy answer you got today. As you think about and prepare to try again, please make sure you find a good doctor for that subsequent pregnancy. Hopefully someone who has worked with women in subsequent pregnancies-- you will need a lot of support and understanding, and it is important that your doctor works with you as you go through that next pregnancy.
April 23, 2009 | Registered Commenterjulia
Elieth, I'm so sorry.

Maddy *may* have died from an infection that then went on to somewhat correct/heal itself (there were no traces of infection when she was born at term, circa 40w). Since I am GBS+, I have always considered this an option even though my docs are kinda skeptical. In any event, I read Julia's article with great interest and am taking all relevant medical information to my doctors in the event I get pregnant again.

Best to you. It's never easy news to digest, even if there is an answer.
April 24, 2009 | Registered Commentertash
I was never tested for Group B Strep because I was having a caesarean birth. I did test positive for the infection weeks later when I developed endometritus. Although my GBS didn't have anything to do with Calvin's death, it angers me that my babies could have been endangered by the bacteria I was carrying. I know how hard this may be to digest for you but I think you are doing us all a service by speaking of the dangers associated with this common infection. Hugs to you.
May 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermargaret