I feel as though I can hardly function. My first pregnancy, we were told our little girl would die, after her twin died at 15 weeks. She is now ok, but still has many special needs. My second pregnancy was a little boy, and I had to have him early because I was so mental.

My third pregnancy, twins again, identical, just ended 2 weeks ago, naturally. I am so emotional and angry. I am sad and happy and anxious and wanting to try again and never wanting to try again and pissed off. I have friends who were due at the same time, and I am not wanting to see them. I am being a bitch. I know I am. What is wrong with me? It's my daughter's 4th birthday and I should just be thankful! We have to take her 9 hours away for medical tests this weekend and I am just overwhelmed.

I am wondering if this happened because I have had 2 c-sections. Feel guilty for having had them. Angry I will have to have one again, if I ever get pregnant again. So many emotions. Even a trip to Target sets them off. I saw a People magazine with the octuplets lady on them, wanted to scream.

People give me sad eyes, maybe we should just stop. One of my best friends had a baby this morning. Why can't I be happy for her? Why does it have to be a reminder of my failures?

Is this normal? I just want to know I am ok. This seems even harder than what we went through with the first pregnancy. I just want to sleep.

I would really love some support - pipsersmom@gmail.com... this site is so great.

I wish I knew what to say...

I'm so sorry for your losses and I know this probably doesn't help, but I think it completely natural that you feel this way. By the sounds of things, you've had a hellish 5 years.

I certainly felt (and feel) extremely angry and bitter after losing Iris. I don't think you are being a bitch at all.

My email is afteriris08@gmail.com if you ever need someone to listen.

Jess x

Rach, you're human, and I just want to say I understand. I'm so sorry for what you've been through... this is such a rough damn ride for so many of us, and it can seem like a walk in the park for the majority of the world. Which it often is.

Be patient with yourself, okay? You're dealing with so much. It's totally natural for you to feel the way you do. It took me such a long time to see it this way (and some days, I don't) but I feel like my loss of Liam made me into the mother I am. Not that I'm somehow more profound or more grateful or more enlightened - I wish I were - but it's just a part of my journey that's changed me forever, and wearing that experience without shame and without hesitation is an expression of the love he brought me.

It's hard work. Being a mother when you've had to fight to get there - it's an emotional slog, and we're in it with you. Take care, and I hope the appointments with your daughter went as smoothly as possible. xo

I understand much of what you are going through (obviously, your post was from a while ago - sorry). I had a natural, complicated miscarriage almost a month ago and I'm going through the same emotions you are. I feel like no one understands. They try, but they just don't get it. I was so angry to see some stupid Kardashian girl on the cover of some magazine pregnant - errrrr. Now, I've been more depressed than I ever have in my life off and on ever since. Then, I get even more depressed because I can't stop being depressed. I'm so annoyed with myself that I can't stop feeling this way. I'm hoping it's more a hormonal thing, but I don't know if it is or not. Thank you for your honesty.