How has your prenatal care for this subsequent pregnancy changed?

Has it changed at all?

Are the changes for your peace of mind or for medical reasons related to your loss?

What advice would you give to other babyloss mamas in terms of what they should expect or request from their care providers?

In my non medical opinion, I think the most important thing that a pregnant woman should expect (babylost or not) from her care provider is to be treated as an intelligent woman capable of making informed care decisions, and assume that she is also capable of engaging in collaborative, intelligent conversation about such care.

Everyone's medical and cultural situation is unique, regardless of loss, or perhaps, particularly in cases of loss. A babylost mama wants addiitonal tests regardless of whether or not there exists empirical evidence behind the utility of such tests, but just for her peace of mind? Then discuss the monetary costs, pros, and cons of such testing, and let her make her own decision. A woman wants NOT to have additional or even routine tests performed? Again, discuss the pros and cons of such a decision with her, and let her make up her own mind.

I switched practice for this pregnancy. My old practice does not deliver in the only hospital in the area with a NICU. My first baby was taken to another hospital before I had held him, before I had barely seen him, and I didn't get to him for two days. I knew that I would be anxious about this pregnancy and that I didn't have control over many things that worried me, but this was a piece I could control. I could be where my baby was if baby had problems at birth.

Because I was working with new providers who didn't know my history, I sent a letter before my first appointment that detailed my experience with my son, what we knew about his health issues, and how I felt it would affect my pregnancy. I didn't want to have to explain why I was crying at appointments or to face questions about my first pregnancy or baby with each new person I dealt with in my practice.

We did the same tests we did when I was pregnant the first time. Medically, I am reminded frequently, I don't really have much to worry about. This fails to reassure me fully, but it is true. Oh, the one extra test I did have was for Factor V Leiden. It was one of the last diagnoses we got on my son, so his care providers suggested that I get tested.

I am having a planned c-section as I did last time due to previous uterine surgery. We discussed carefully the time of the c-section to find a point that was considered safe for the baby and emotionally okay for me, as the first anniversary of my son's death falls in the middle of my 39th week (my due date is the day we buried him last year).

Request what you feel you need, and expect that your loss and the emotions related to it be taken into account in your care and interactions. Talk about specific concerns you have in this pregnancy and what your options are.

I hope that you have care providers who are sensitive to your needs in this pregnancy.

We have been lucky..the specialist that my Ob/Gyn sent me too after the loss..mainly so SHE didn't have to explain all the post mortem stuff was awesome and promised that HE would take me on if I decided to try again.

He is a specialist in high risk pregnancy..and while really, my pregnancy isn't THAT high risk, now that we know what happened to Scott, I am pushing 40 and am considered 'over weight' ....

So has been treating me with kid gloves and basically testing me for everything from the get go.

I feel safe with him.
I won't return to my original Ob/gyn and do not want to deliver at the same hospital..too many memories and NOT impressed with my care.

My daughter died at 38 weeks. We never found out any medical reason. So I am with the same midwife--it was very important to me to have her with me through this pregnancy.

But after 24 weeks, I will start seeing an OB as well. I am receiving "shared-care" which is very unusual here, but can happen if both care-providers are willing to work together.

Also, after 24 weeks, I will be going for ultrasounds every 2 weeks, and I will be receiving steroids at 28 weeks, "just in case" we end up having an early delivery.

I know that my midwife and OB are committed to doing whatever they can to ease my anxiety, to care for my baby in the womb, to bring my baby to birth alive. But I think that I am looking for more things that I should/could ask for to create some sense of control. I keep thinking--what if there was something that caused my baby's death last time, but we just don't know it? What if there is something I should be watching out for now that could prevent another loss?

This is such a heart-wrenching, hopeful, vulnerable, difficult place to be...