If you have been pregnant after a loss, how did you "announce" your subsequent pregnancy? Who did you tell? How far along? What did you hope for in their reactions? And how did their actual reactions affect you? Did having other people know change your own perspective on the pregnancy?
Lots of questions--but this is just such a difficult path to navigate...

We told our families early. I think I had only taken a home pregnancy test, hadn't had it confirmed yet. I know we hadn't seen or heard a heartbeat yet. I would not have chosen to tell people so early, but my sister-in-law was dying of cancer and had been given 4-6 months to live and my husband really wanted to give her this good news. Word spread quickly through his family and family friends. I told my immediate family, but did not spread the word for at least another month. Once the news was out, we told some friends and neighbors. Initially I found it good to share the news, then got very anxious and didn't want to talk about it much.

People were delighted for us, often more excited than I felt. The joy I had was too jumbled up with grief and anxiety. I wanted to be excited and happy like I was when we announced our first pregnancy, but I wasn't. Sometimes it was hard to face the excitement coming from others, but sometimes I was able to pick up a little excitement from others that I wanted but couldn't muster up in myself.

I got irritated when people assured me too easily and too readily that everything would be okay this time. While I don't assume something will go wrong, I do fear something going wrong and I know better than to be able to expect that all will be okay. Sometimes it almost made my anxiety stronger because I felt like I had to defend my fears. As my pregnancy has progressed, I've been feeling more and more positive about things being okay, but I still don't like to have my fears brushed off.

There were a few people that seemed almost relieved, as if they were thinking "Oh good, they'll be okay now." As if it's that simple.

Once the initial announcement was out, I figured out who I could talk to about this pregnancy, who would listen to and understand my fears, who could understand how much I wanted this baby though I couldn't for a long time actually think about having the baby.

We also told our families very early. But beyond that I have only told a few people who needed to know for a variety of reasons. Now I am almost 16 weeks, and I know that people around me know, but they won't say anything to me because I haven't said anything to them. It is a very weird and awkward situation--I wonder if this can continue for the next 20 weeks or so! :)
I would have no problem with that, actually, but I wonder if I'm doing myself a disservice by not being "acknowledging" this baby publically. I wonder if I am denying myself the measure of joy that is possible in the midst of ongoing grief...

We told immediate family pretty quickly, and a cousin out of necessity ( I could no longer partake in the weekend of hot tub and margarita planned earlier). I've basically let those few spread the word, and sadly, I know that one family in particular is offended that we've taken this route. I can't apologize for it, but I do feel a bit guilty about it. I hate that I do. They should understand how difficult this is, and how we're not celebrating anything at this point... we're just hoping, quietly holding our breath until May.