It has been two months now and I am looking at my wall which is plastered with condolance cards. I think I am ready to put these away. I just wanted to know when other people decided it was time.

Hey Sophie,

I put our condolence cards away after about two months. It all comes down to want YOU feel is best. I found it hard to do. I wrapped a ribbon around them all and put them in a special box. After that I put some freshly cut flowers in their place.

Every few months I get them out and read through a few of them.

All my wishes for you :)

Love Carly x

I would say that the right time to consider putting them away is when their presence out in the open becomes more a source of sadness/stress/dust/bother than comfort. Mine only lasted about a week. It was nice to get them, but the sight of them quickly became yet another reminder of the "Congratulations" cards that we would never get. You will know when that time comes.

I think Michelle's probably right. I never put mine out - they went straight in the memory box. It all depends on you. Two months is not that long a time, so don't worry that you're not "progressing" or that you're "wallowing." If you've got them out still after two years, you might be having problems. Maybe one thing you could do if you don't feel ready to put them all away yet would be to just put away a few at a time. You can always take them back out and look at them from time to time, and you will feel like you need to.

I put mine in a basket as they came in. For a while, I took them out and looked at them, though I haven't in a while. The basket is still in the corner of my living room along with the guest book from the funeral. I was thinking about packing things away at some point. Right now they are not really out, but not really away either.

Even when they are packed away, I suspect I will pull them out from time to time to look at them. The fact that I don't remember when I last looked at them suggests I may be ready to put them away. (It's been almost 8 month.)

I'm pregnant. I think I want to pack some things away before the new baby is supposed to be here. I will keep out some things that are special and that will be out and put away the rest (cards, the memory box that is just sitting on my china cabinet) and not feel like we are packing Henry away to make room for somebody else.

Could there be something you could do to honour those sentiments that softens the letting go of them? Maybe a beautiful ribbon to tie them into a neat package, to go into a memory box or special place?
xo

I feel a bit odd. I feel ready to put them away. But at the same time I know it's significant and I am waiting for the right moment.

Is it strange? I kind of feel the need to put this stuff behind me...and I've spent the last two months determined to keep her memory alive and her presence everywhere. I still have pictures of her everywhere, and I have more planned to put up and that doesn't bother me. Her things don't bother me. Maybe it's the obvious signs of her death I am trying to put away. The condolance cards are sad. And at this moment in time I am sick and tired of feeling sad all the time. She wouldn't have wanted me to wallow in misery. So at some point I have to pick up the pieces, put them away and get on with it.

I've had cards on my wall for six months. When Jordan was born people sent me cards celebrating her birth and offering their best wishes that she would get better. They were there for months. And then I had to take them down and replace them with the condolance cards...

I think I'm just fed up with the cards. They've been there that long I don't even see them anymore. So what's the point?

You just said two things that make sense to me:
1) The cards have been there so long I don't even see them.That is the case with me.
2) Maybe it's the obvious signs of her death I am trying to put away. We have pictures everywhere too, and they are not going anywhere (well, not for now . . . with more kids, we'll need to find room everybody), but they are there to celebrate a life. The cards and the signs of death itself are different.
Hmm, you may have inspired me to clean up the death corner, where I have a basked of cards, the funeral sign in book, extra thank you notes that the funeral home gave us, etc. It's been sitting there for months now. There are better uses for that corner.