I have a really annoying brother in law and equally weird and dumb wife.

They have barely acknowledged our loss...except to point out how hard done by THEY were...

Apparently they have had trouble conceiving...but never once talked about..we still don't know why...or what was wrong.

And yes we totally accept their need for privacy over this..cept I am sure OTHER family and friends know more than we do...it was just used again my husband everytime he tried point out that we were not in a good place at Christmas etc etc.

Anyway...I don't know what they have said to dh..all I got from him was they MIGHT be preggers but it is early. Then he made the GRAN tell us what SHE had heard..that she was pregnant for sure.

So they come over today..instead of saying...'I am sure you heard...and yes it is true'..so then I COULD SAY CONGRATS...they say nothing.

dh is outside asking her how far along she is..

but the whole thing made me feel really awkward..what am I supposed to say or do?

Do I act like I know nothing or say something...

So..all I said was 'have you been feeling good?' and yes apparently she has...that was it.

She is HUGE for 6 weeks by the way...yipes.

ALSO I had sadly hoped they wouldnt' be preggers...not for selfish reasons...I just don't think they have the wherewithall to be decent parents.

Oh well.

Anyway....the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth.

Instead of it being an open YAY thing for all....it feels weird.

And honestly...I do NOT think they were holding back for me..they are not clever enough for that.

But it sure messed me up.

Between being surrounded by babies yesterday and finding more baby stuff..including my sling and bjorn today...and then dh saying 'well are we trying again' in a happy manner...just sent me.

Not after him flipping out about money yesterday and how we have to stay here and focus on saving instead of looking at using his mom's house money to buy a new place....

So I said no..I am not having a baby here.....not surrounded by the same nosey neighbours...the one's who forgot how to speak to me and then told me I WAS BEING STANDOFFISH!

And I am turning 39 and am still struggling with my grieve ambivalence and ability to run my existing family.

Scott has left such a void...

he would be here now and we would be dealing.

Sorry..I had to rant.

Oh geez... just what you needed. And in your own home no less. I would wager that we all have experienced this awkwardness with clueless family/friends/neighbors and probably few of us have a good strategy for dealing with it. My personal coping mechanism in such situations is usually booze, but that might not be something to brag about ;) Hope you can find a way to put them out of your mind for the time being.

Rant received and understood. Family is so tough to deal with after this... so tough. You're not alone.
xoxo